Confessions Of A CF Husband

(Repost) Our Choice

2012-01-18T07:00:00.000-05:00

The following was originally posted on January 20, 2008, less than two weeks after Gwyneth was born and just a few days after Tricia woke from her coma. I thought that today was a good day to repost it. I've changed a few dates so that they are accurate for today.

For all of her life, Tricia has been praying a very specific prayer, that God would use her life with CF to do something amazing and extraordinary. And, for the past few years, she has added a second specific prayer. Until recently, this second prayer was a secret from all but a few people...it was even a secret from me.

But, first, let me give you a little background about us.

Tricia and I met about 11 1/2 years ago one Sunday morning at our church (I promise I'll give you the whole story another time, 'cause it's good). It was love at first site for me, and we began dating almost a year later. I was (and still am) Tricia's first and only boyfriend.

I knew that this was the girl for me, and very early on in our relationship I explained to Tricia and her parents that I fully (or at least as fully as I could at that point) understood Tricia's disease and what that might mean for my future. While we wouldn't be married for another three years, I told them all that I was committing, then and there to becoming the caretaker that Tricia would need. I promised that I was looking to marry Tricia, and that if I had any doubts up to that point, I would have already bailed because I knew Tricia didn't need the stress of a hurtful relationship on top of the hardships of her disease.

I was 20 and Tricia was 19.

Tricia was in good health while we were dating, with just a very slow descent. Even when we married, you would never have known she had a killer disease. But, we knew that there were no guarantees, and that even a simple cold could literally become deadly for her in the matter of a few days. Talk of marriage came early, and we soon decided that we wanted to take advantage of every minute of our lives together. On August 24, 2003, we became engaged. We were married less than a year later on June 27, 2004.

The day after our honeymoon ended, I began my first full-time job (as worship leader at Westwood Hill Baptist Church) in VA Beach. Neither of us had finished college at that point, because, again, we wanted to make the most of the time we had. Some people thought we were foolish, and it wasn't an easy decision, but looking back, we know it was exactly what God wanted for us.

We knew we wanted to start a family, but we also wanted to have at least a little time all to ourselves, so, we gave ourselves about a year to just enjoy being two. That first year of marriage was full of fun and excitingly new things for us.

God did not make a woman more perfectly fit to be a mother than Tricia, and, although being a father scared me (and still does), I've always known that it was what I wanted as well. For nearly two years, we tried to get pregnant.

I know that this is not a long time compared to many stories I've heard, but, because of Tricia's declining health during that time, we knew our window of opportunity was not very large. And, because of Tricia's CF, as well as some other issues, we knew that conception was a small chance and pregnancy a huge risk for the two of us.

All during that time, while Tricia's CF doctors informed us of the risks, they were also very supportive of our decisions. In the spring of this past year (2007), however, they finally told us that a pregnancy would be more risk than we were willing to take. So, although it was very difficult, especially for Tricia, we halted our pregnancy plans.

At that same time, Tricia's docs also advised us to consider being evaluated for the double lung transplant that could save Tricia's life. The 5-day evaluation process took place at the end of June (2007) with good results (meaning Tricia was a candidate), and we began making our plans to transition to living part-time (and later full-time) in Durham.

All this time...all the while that we'd been married, Tricia had been praying that secret prayer. She knew, that what she was praying for would take something that beat the odds, that defied science and that could only be explained by God.

Tricia was praying for a "miracle baby".

We decided that September 4 (2007) would be the day that we would officially make the transition to Durham and Duke to begin the physical therapy that Tricia would need before being placed on the Transplant list. We moved out of the house we'd been renting for two years (in Nags Head, NC) and placed most of our belongings into storage while taking our bedroom furniture, medical supplies, clothes and a few other things into a spare bedroom at my parents house (where we planned on staying when we cam home on the weekends).

September 3 was a Sunday, and that night, as our church gathered together for a service, I took the stage to share the new and plans with many of our closest friends and family. Tricia stayed home because she was not feeling well (not unusual). Little did I know that, literally as I was sharing our plans with the church, Tricia was finding out that God was about to take us on a huge detour.

When I arrived home that night, feeling a sense of relief from telling the church about our plans, Tricia met me at the door with, "I have something to tell you, and I'm not sure how you're going to react..." Of course, I'm thinking our dog had gotten run over by a car, or something crazy... She took me into the bathroom, showed me the pregnancy tests (I think she used three just to be sure) and told me that she was pregnant. God was giving Tricia her miracle.

The next day, when we arrived at Duke, we immediately set up appointments with the transplant doctor, the OBGYN and Tricia's CF docs. The transplant doctor's reaction is not something I want to repeat (it went something like "holy ......!"). He advised us that our best choice would be to terminate the pregnancy.

The OBGYN told us that she had never once recommended to any of her patients to terminate a pregnancy, but in Tricia's case, she was making the exception.

Tricia's CF doctors already knew exactly what our decision was going to be about keeping/terminating the baby, and other than a look of shock, they were very supportive (as was everyone else once we told them of our choice).

This Sunday morning, thousands of churches across our country are remembering National Sanctity of Human Life Day. (read My Dad's Blog for more about the history/purpose of this day)

In years past, I've taken part in considering what this day is all about, but it's always been just a passing thought. I'm sure there have been a few years when I didn't even really think about it at all.

But this day has now taken on such a completely different meaning. In the past, it has been about standing up for what my Christian world view tells me is right and against what is wrong. But, now I'm seeing those things as the smaller picture.

God is showing me, through the life of my wife and my daughter, that today is really about two things.

1) Sanctity of Human Life is about trusting God.

No matter what side we may fall on with the issue, abortion is not a belief. It is a choice that is birthed out of a belief. Our belief was that God wants what's best for lives, that it was God Who allowed this pregnancy to happen, and that it needs to be God who determines the final outcome. Because of our belief in God, our choice was easy.

For us, abortion was not about life or death, murder, right or wrong, etc. Our choice simply came down to whether or not we were seriously willing to trust God. And really, what else did we have to hang on to at that point? To abort would mean to turn our back on God...Tricia's chances of surviving the pregnancy were 50/50, Gwyneth's were even less, and the window of opportunity for the transplant seemed to have come and gone. But we knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God was answering Tricia's prayer by giving us this opportunity.

2) Sanctity of Human Life is about making the most of our time with others.

If I have learned anything during the past few months, it is that my time with Tricia, and her time with me and others she loves is never a guaranteed thing. I have probably spent more time with Tricia in the past 5 months than I had the previous 3 years of our marriage, by her bedside nearly every moment.

I have seen my attitude and perspective change about certain things regarding my role as a care-giver. The things that used to make me cringe, I do with joy. The tasks that caused me to roll my eyes because I missed a few minutes of television show, or a few seconds of football game have become the things that I look forward to the most. My favorite part of the day now is getting into my Jeep and driving to the hospital, knowing that I have a full day of just being with or around Tricia and Gwyneth.

It would only take a few moments for me to easily become a childless widower. But, that's really how all of life is. We never know what the next second will bring. I hope to never look at life the same, never again choose to take my family and friends for granted, and never pass by another stranger without looking for an opportunity to be a blessing.

I am not perfect. In fact, I consider so many others in my own life to be much more spiritual and strong and loving than I am. All I know is that, the moment we made that choice to trust God, my entire life changed.

And, for me, that is what Sanctity of Human Life is really all about. Simply living life in pursuit of loving God and loving people does so much more to change hearts and minds and lives than any hellfire sermon, political personality, or picketing campaign will ever accomplish.

Tricia literally came within a few breaths of sacrificing everything to give Gwyneth life. If that had been the case, and even if that is still what happens, to know that we have trusted God with our choice will get me through today and tomorrow.

God is answering both of Tricia's life prayers, at the same time...He is doing something extraordinary with her life by giving her the miracle baby.

I pray that today, you will take time to consider that human life is sacred because it comes from God, spend time appreciating the life you've been given, and love on the people you find yourself with.

Thanks!

Nate

The Adventures of Fearless Super GRL!

2012-01-16T17:48:00.003-05:00

Nate

Happy Birthday Gwyneth Rose!!!

2012-01-08T14:06:00.002-05:00

Our Gwyneth Rose turns four today! So excited to celebrate with her! If I can find the pug toy, I'll take a photo for you.

Nate

Reverse Gifting

2011-12-31T12:27:00.005-05:00

One of our favorite days of the year is coming in just over a week! Gwyneth will be turning four! And, while we love birthday parties and cake and ice cream, our favorite part about this grand day is what we like to call "reverse gifting".

For the past two years for Gwyneth's birthday we've asked our friends and family to forgo any birthday gifts for Gwyneth (really, she has everything a four year old could want/need already) and instead purchase new or gently used preemie clothes for us to deliver to the Intensive Care Nurseries at DUKE and CHKD (the two hospitals that have taken such great care of Gwyneth for us). Over the past three years we've delivered nearly 100 gift bags full of clothes.

Gwyneth is now old enough to begin to understand what we're doing, and we're looking forward to continuing this for many years to come. It's a lot of fun and a great way to teach our daughter that her special day doesn't have to be all about her. Collecting and delivering these gifts has truly become one of the highlights of our year.

We learned from our experience at Duke that every little detail for a family of a newborn preemie can be a huge mountain of stress, including (maybe, especially, considering how hard they are to find) finding preemie clothes. Finding clothes tiny enough to fit a 4lb baby can be very difficult.

Here is a blog comment from a mother who received one the gift bags:

I just wanted to say Thank You! I arrived at the duke NICU today and received our onesie and your letter!! My son keylan, was born 3 wks ago @ 24 wks and weighing 1 lb 8 oz. Your gift really touched my heart. With everything going on, I haven't even thought about clothes. At times I feel so alone, to know their are people that care is truly a blessing!! Christy

Last year, we extended the invitation for our "reverse gifting" celebration of Gwyneth's birthday to our blog readers, and we had several people respond! We'd like to again invite you to participate if you want to. Gwyneth's birthday party isn't going to take place for a few more weeks, which means we have plenty of time to gather as many preemie clothes as possible.

If you would like to celebrate Gwyneth's 4th birthday with us in this way, here are three ways to do it:

1. Donate new or gently used preemie clothes to your nearest hospital Infant Care Nursery in honor of Gwyneth and/or any other preemie that has blessed your life.

2. Mail new or gently used preemie clothes to us. We'll deliver them for you to Duke and/or CHKD. (see mailing address and instructions below)

3. Mail or Email gift cards to us from either BabiesRUs or Target and we'll do the shopping for you. (see email and instructions below)

Thank you so much for considering joining us as we bless other preemie families in celebration of our daughter's birth and life!

Nate

Mail to:
Nathan Lawrenson
105 W. Soundside Rd. (for UPS)
PO Box 302 (for all other)
Nags Head, NC 27959

Click Here for My Email

We have had the most success shopping for preemie clothes at BabiesRUs and Target. You can also find lots of preemie clothes at Online Retailers.

E-GiftCards can be purchased at BabiesRUs Here and Target Here.

Please, keep clothes unwrapped (as in, don't wrap them in wrapping paper). The hospital prefers for gifts to be unwrapped so there are no surprises...we'll make sure to put them in gift bags for you when we deliver them. Also, feel free to include a personal note to the preemie family(s) with your gift.

We'll be accepting donations until the end of January. If you have any questions, please email or leave me a comment. Thanks!

COTA

2011-12-31T10:18:00.006-05:00

I've got a little buddy named Wyatt (below) who is in desperate need of a heart transplant and is receiving help from COTA, Children’s Organ Transplant Association. Wyatt was born early with his twin brother Davis at Duke several months ago. Davis is healthy and now home with his family, but Wyatt is still at Duke waiting for his new heart. Both of these little guys have been cared for by the same staff who took care of Gwyneth.

COTA's Facebook Page is currently being sponsored. Every time someone "likes" their page, $1 is donated to COTA to assist transplant-needy kids and young adults!

Please visit the COTA page, click "like" and spread the word! Thank you!

Nate

Gwyneth Says "Merry Christmas!"

2011-12-27T23:23:00.002-05:00

Christmas Lights

2011-12-26T00:25:00.003-05:00

Christmas tip of the Day: before packing away the lights, have a little fun with your best friend.

Nate

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus!

2011-12-24T21:30:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas.

Nate, Tricia & Gwyneth Rose

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-19T16:42:00.003-05:00

Nate

Nathan Lawrenson Photography Sale

2011-12-14T09:56:00.004-05:00

I'm very excited to be offering prints and digital downloads of some of my favorite professional shots from 2011 at SmugMug. I have a Christmas sale going on through Christmas day AND a coupon for 25% off (all orders made between now and Christmas) to say thank you to my CFHusband blog readers for all the prayer and support over the past few years!

And, if you haven't yet, check out my Photography Website!

Nate

Firehouse Santa!

2011-12-13T21:14:00.003-05:00

My dad's fire station holds a breakfast with Santa every December. We'll hopefully make it to the mall later this month to see the real Santa, but this guy did a pretty good job in the meantime!

And, just in case you're wondering, Gwyneth has no reservations about the jolly old elf. But, as much as she enjoys Santa, she's absolutely obsessed (with no real prompting from us) with Baby Jesus...we have several nativity sets around the house right now, and she loves to play with them and carry Jesus everywhere with her. She also LOVES Rudolph (and any reindeer for that matter)!

Nate

(Bump) Coming Soon to a Magazine Stand Near You!

2011-12-08T19:04:00.000-05:00

We were disappointed to learn that the magazine has bumped our story...they're telling us maybe May or June of 2012. We will let you know as soon as we know for sure.

Tricia, Gwyneth and I spent yesterday evening with David and Tammy Molnar. In case you don't know, David is an incredible photographer and a childhood friend. David was asked to shoot us (actually, mostly Tricia) for a magazine article about our (Tricia's) story which is scheduled to be published this December. We'll post more info about what magazine soon!

In the meantime, check out David's Website, Blog and Facebook Page!

Nate

Did You See...

2011-12-08T11:42:00.002-05:00

...Tricia on the Today Show this morning?!?

O Christmas Tree

2011-12-05T16:37:00.004-05:00

Ever see a Christmas tree decorated in 7 seconds?

France!

2011-10-07T19:37:00.003-04:00

Tricia and Gwyneth and I are spending a month in France...yes, we have already arrived and are into our second full day. You might remember that we came to Grenoble, France for a week with my church band two summers ago on a mission trip. I've been on several overseas trips, but France is the first place I've ever been where, as I got on the plane to go home, I began trying to figure out how I could return as soon as possible. We loved the people, the culture, the food! And, my specific skill set with music and creative arts is something that can really be used.

So, after over a year of planning, we have returned. I am working with a few local Grenoble churches and their musicians. We'll also be looking to serve the local Cystic Fibrosis community in any way that we can. We are also scheduled to visit Rome for a few days to scout out another mission trip that our church is planning for 2012!

We have good internet access at times, so I will be posting photos and updates from time to time.

au revoir,

Nate

Dear Pat Robertson

2011-09-15T10:26:00.006-04:00

Dear Pat Robertson,

You remember that one time a few years ago when your Cristian Broadcasting Network (CBN) contacted me about running a story about our family? Do you remember that I decided not to allow you to run a story about us because I disagreed with many of the theology and values of CBN? Do you remember that I told you that I didn't want people to associate my beliefs and the beliefs of my family about God, sickness, family values, etc. with your beliefs? Remember how it was a tough decision, and I didn't really tell anybody about it then because I didn't want to look like I was being judgmental?

Well, right now, I'm incredibly thankful that God helped me make that decision, because it is painfully (and yes, I do mean that it pains me) obvious that the God and Bible you believe in are very different than the God and Bible I trust.

A question posed to you, Pat Robertson this week:

"I have a friend whose wife suffers from Alzheimer's. She doesn't even recognize him anymore, and, as you can imagine, the marriage has been rough. My friend has gotten bitter at God for allowing his wife to be in that condition, and now he's started seeing another woman. He says that he should be allowed to see other people, because his wife as he knows her is gone...I'm not quite sure what to tell him. Please help."

Your, Pat Robertson's response:

"I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again...to make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her. If you respect that vow...you say until death do us part...this is a kind of death."

Pat, I am thankful that I know better than to listen to your words and "logic" about marriage and death. I am thankful that I know the Bible and the heart of God well enough to believe with everything I am that God can do amazingly beautiful things in a marriage even when one person is sick and on the brink of death.

Your response to this person comes from a heart that either does not know God's Word or refuses to trust His Word when it doesn't make sense to our sinful hearts and minds. I am disappointed but not surprised. I am a sinful man with an incredibly sinful heart, and I know that I allow my human brain to rebel against the commands and promises of God far too often as well. I know, looking around me, in my church and in the Church (universal) that we all allow Satan to trick us with human logic into rebelling against God's perfect plan.

But, I also know that marriage is sacred, that God hates divorce, and that those who honor their marriage vows despite the difficulties that come with age and poor health are being fully obedient to His Word. I have never once considered leaving my wife because of her illness, not because I am a "good" person, but because I know that God desires that I remain committed to my vows, and because I trust that He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

I don't expect you or the person who asked you that question to ever read this, and I certainly don't expect that my words would ever change your heart or mind about this. But, I want the world to know that there is another way, that those who stay committed to their vows even in the difficult times can come through it with miracles and incredible blessings. The love I have for my wife today is beyond anything I ever experienced during the time we spent together before she became so sick.

Pat Robertson, I love you in Christ, but you are flat out wrong. I know this because the Bible tells me so. My wife would tell you the same thing.

Sincerely,

Nathan Lawrenson

Duke Speech

2011-09-13T21:09:00.002-04:00

In case you missed it, you can watch our keynote speech at Duke's CF Education Day Here.

Nate

Gwyneth's Great Strides Page!

2011-09-13T10:10:00.002-04:00

Gwyneth is three and a half, and with our Great Strides Walk for Cystic Fibrosis coming up this Saturday, we thought she was old enough to begin helping us raise money to find a cure for CF. Please, take the time to check out Gwyneth's Great Strides Page and consider donating to help us find a cure for CF!!!

Nate

Come Outside and Play

2011-09-11T22:29:00.003-04:00

Chatting Live Right Now

2011-09-10T11:21:00.002-04:00

Tricia and I are chatting live with you right now about CF at http://www.justin.tv/dukecfcenter#/w/1746729760

Nate

Live Video - Duke's Cystic Fibrosis Education Day

2011-09-08T14:13:00.003-04:00

From the kind people at Duke:

For those interested in following CF Education Day this Saturday via the web, we use a free (advertising-funded) website that is not affiliated with Duke to carry the broadcast. The web link is http://www.justin.tv/dukecfcenter and it will be live on Saturday when the speakers are presenting. There is also a text chat window where people at home can type questions. One of our CF center staff will be monitoring the chat and can read the questions aloud when the presenters take questions.

Users at home do not need an account log in to Justin.tv. The chat is open to "anonymous" users, and they will appear as "justintv42738965" or some combination of numbers. This is beneficial in protecting our patients' privacy, but the risk is that sometimes random users (not affiliated with our CF center) will drop by and post in our chat area.

With that in mind, and knowing that we can't control what ads are presented by the service, I do recommend parental guidance if families are watching at home. I would hate for a child to see something that their parents would not want them to view (violent video game ad or similar). It is possible to view the video in fullscreen mode and this may limit the intrusiveness of advertisements.

Hurricane Irene

2011-08-28T22:44:00.003-04:00

We are safe and sound, out house is dry. But, the flooding here is historic, never been anything like it. Many people are still without power, some without water or any help because of damaged roads. Thank you for prayer for our community. It will take a long time to recover from this. I'll post some photos and links when I can.

Nate

CF Education Day Update

2011-08-24T13:51:00.005-04:00

Below is the flier (click on it to view larger size) for the event with all the information you should need to attend. Again, this is a free event, but they do want you to register so they can anticipate the number of people attending and can order the correct number of lunches. Thanks!

New Glasses

2011-08-21T16:26:00.004-04:00

First, thank you for praying for Tricia. She is nearly fully recovered from her surgery. Yet to know if the surgery has made a difference, but we're just happy that she's back on her feet and back to "normal".

Gwyneth's new glasses arrived yesterday! Her prescription changed, and we were told that it would be cheaper to purchase new frames than to change the lenses. So, we let her pick out the color. We decided to try rectangle frames this time, and she picked the purple, even over the same pink color as her old frames. We love them! The color is actually a darker purple than what showed up in this photo, so I'll try to take a better photo for you later.

Update - Duke's Cystic Fibrosis Education Day

2011-08-08T14:28:00.002-04:00

10:30am - 2:00pm

We will be speaking around 1pm. I will post more information about the other speakers when I receive it.

You are welcome to come for the entire event or just to hear us speak, but they do want you to RSVP. As soon as I have the RSVP info, I will share it here. You can also "attend" the Facebook Event and invite others who might be interested.

Nate

Duke's Cystic Fibrosis Education Day

2011-08-02T19:33:00.003-04:00

Tricia and I have been invited to be the keynote speakers at this year's Cystic Fibrosis Education Day at Duke University Medical Center on Saturday, September 10. I will post more details later, but I wanted to let you know now in case anyone would like to attend with us and say hello.

Nate

Surgery Today

2011-08-01T21:13:00.010-04:00

1:25 - Tricia is in her room, feeling some pain, and throwing up from the pain meds.

12:50 - Tricia is being moved to her room. She got her wish to stay on the CF floor. Should see plenty of familiar faces! I still haven't seen her...

9:40 - Surgery went well. Waiting to see her.

9:35am - Tricia is out of surgery. Waiting for the consult with the surgeon.

8:00am - Surgery just began.

7:30am - They just rolled Tricia into the OR. Should be about 2.5 hours.

We report to the hospital at 5:30am (who picks these times?!?!) for a 7:30am surgery. I'll update on this post throughout the day, although we don't expect anything very exciting to happen. Thanks for your prayers!

Nate

Counting

2011-07-26T21:17:00.002-04:00

Gwyneth is in the stage where she counts everything. So fun! She can count all the way to ten, if you can understand what she's saying, although she skips seven every time.

Nate

Another Surgery

2011-07-26T12:52:00.003-04:00

Tricia will be having surgery next Tuesday at Duke to remove her gall bladder. The way it has been explained to us is, her gall bladder is basically not functioning. This could be the cause of the stomach pain she's been experiencing, and we're hoping that this surgery will take that pain away. This is not an emergency surgery, as we've known about it for several weeks now. She's been told to expect to be in the hospital for at least one night, maybe more.

Nate

A Warning to Apple Mac Customers!

2011-07-21T16:00:00.003-04:00

If you're not an Apple customer, just skip ahead to the photo of Gwyneth...

I've been a huge and loyal Apple customer for 6 years...never once have I had any major issues. Today, I upgraded to the new Apple OS X Lion operating system on my very new work computer. After installing the $29 upgrade, I discovered that none of my Microsoft Office 2004 applications are compatible with Lion.

95% of my work is done using these applications: Word, PowerPoint, Entourage (email), Excel, which means, my nearly brand new Apple computer is now useless to me unless I either want to spend the money to purchase an external hard drive and reinstall OSX Snow Leopard or if I want to spend another $150 for the newest version of the Office suite.

I thought I had done my research, but not once did I read any kind of warning from Apple telling me these issues would take place if I went ahead with the upgrade (yes, there are warnings out there, but I missed them all and none of them were communicated to me during the upgrade process). Apple customer no-service was completely unwilling to take responsibility or to offer me any direct help to resolve this issue. To say I'm disappointed in Apple (as a huge and loyal Apple customer) is an incredible understatement.

All of that to say, maybe this short blog post will keep one of you from making this same mistake and losing faith in Apple.

Now, here's a photo of Gwyneth that makes me feel happy and helps me remember that even Apple can't steal my joy.

Nate

Horse

2011-07-19T19:55:00.002-04:00

Best Hugger Ever

2011-07-05T11:12:00.002-04:00

Nate

Good Reports

2011-06-24T22:10:00.004-04:00

We made another 24 hr trip to Duke this week for several appointments for both girls. Good reports all around. Tricia lungs continue to show no signs of infection. Gwyneth continues to grow and develop, and she has finally broken the 25 lb mark...only took her about 2 years to go from 20 to 25!

Gwyneth had her first visit with a new doctor. She is now officially diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy, which we had assumed for a now. She continues to wear her AFO (ankle braces), but is making great progress. She is falling less and less while walking on her own, and is now able to step up and down short steps.

We're also making plans for Gwyneth to have another dual surgery...eye muscle surgery for her stabismus which has returned, and another ear tube placement as her first set has recently fallen out and she is continuing to experience ear infections. Hopefully these can both happen on the same day in the same ER as before.

While we were at Duke waiting for mommy to get done with her appointments, Gwyneth and I walked over the the gardens for a few shots...

Nate

Ice Cream Face

2011-06-19T23:35:00.002-04:00

Nate

By the Sea, By the Sea, By the Beautiful Sea

2011-06-13T08:42:00.002-04:00

Nate

New Nephew

2011-05-23T21:46:00.002-04:00

My baby sister gave me my first nephew on my side of the family yesterday! Ramon Edmundo, named after my bil!

Nate

Big Girl Bed!

2011-05-18T21:55:00.004-04:00

Nate

Moving on Up

2011-05-18T15:52:00.002-04:00

This little girl is moving on up from a crib to a big girl bed tonight! Why tonight? Because I finally have time this evening to convert her crib AND I get to sleep in tomorrow in case she decides it's not as much fun as we've made it out to be.

Nate

Happy Birthday, Tricia!

2011-05-14T21:58:00.003-04:00

We have been so busy this week, I haven't had the chance yet to say "Happy Birthday, Tricia!" on my blog until now! Another amazing year under your belt! May 13 is one of my favorite days of the year...I love you!

(Bump) A Very "Good Friday"

2011-04-22T09:00:00.000-04:00

This was originally posted on April 2, 2010.

Have you ever wondered why the church calls today “Good Friday”? What’s so “good” about the fact that the One who Christians acknowledge as their “Savior” died such a horrible and “unexpected” death?

As humans, isn’t it hard for us to see death as a good thing? Most of us will spend all of our lives living in fear of death…doing all we can to avoid death. Many of us try to eat right, exercise, and stay generally healthy so that we can live long lives…and the rest of us feel guilty about not eating right and exercising.

But, Jesus said that He came to the earth, to live for a short 33 years, to have a public ministry of just 3 years, and to die, all so that we might be able to live an abundant life. To our simple human brains, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The idea that death can bring life is what we would call a “paradox”.

A paradox is a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement, idea, person or thing that is true or may be true. In other words, a paradox is something that is true even though it might not seem to make any sense to our human intellect.

For example, the statement, “This sentence if false” is a paradox. If the statement is true, then the statement is false. In which case, the statement is true, which means the statement is false...and so on for infinity.

Another paradox: “You can't get work without experience, but you can't get experience without work.” Somebody explain to me how exactly that’s supposed to play out.

How about this: “The customer is always right.” So, if two customers say that the other is wrong, both are right, and therefore, both are wrong that they are both right that they are both wrong that they are both right that they are both wrong, etc.

God is a God of paradox. For example, have you ever tried to think about the fact that God “Always has been”? For God, there never was a beginning. That’s a hard thing for us to wrap our minds around, considering we know without doubt that everything we experience as humans had a beginning at some point, even if we weren’t there to witness it.

Or, how about the idea of The Trinity – God is One and Three all at the same time. Even our best attempts as humans to explain this idea fall short. Maybe you’ve heard somebody use water to illustrate the Trinity of God…water can be a solid, liquid and gas. But, water cannot be all three of those things at the same time.

And, just as God often reveals Himself as a paradox, Jesus’ life on this earth was a paradox…listen to this:

JESUS had no servants, yet they called Him MASTER...
JESUS had no degree, yet they called Him TEACHER...
JESUS had no medicine, yet they called Him HEALER...
JESUS had no army, yet KINGS feared Him...
JESUS won no military battles, yet He CONQUERED the WORLD...
JESUS committed no crime, yet they CRUCIFIED Him...
JESUS was buried in a tomb, yet He LIVES TODAY...

It probably seems odd to most people outside of the church that Christians would gather together once a year to remember and celebrate the anniversary of Jesus’ death, but it’s because of this paradox, that Jesus’ death means life for you and I, that we have reason to celebrate. Death on a cross is a gruesome thing…bloody and painful and humiliating. Yet, there is a beauty in the death of Jesus, knowing that He willingly died because of His great love for us.

Maybe that still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to you…so, let me share a short, personal story that might help illustrate why we call today “Good Friday”.

Two years ago today, on April 2, 2008, I woke up in a hospital room at Duke University Medical center in Durham, NC. I had slept there that night, just as I had many nights before those past few months, on the floor at the foot of my wife’s bed. Tricia was dying of Cystic Fibrosis and, at that point, had been bedridden at Duke for about three months.

A month earlier, Tricia had been placed on the double lung transplant list. A transplant, her doctors told us, was the only option Tricia had left. She was literally growing sicker and weaker every day, and the prognosis was that she would be dead by the end of that summer if her medical team could not find her a new pair of lungs. In fact, just the day before, on April 1, Tricia’s right lung had collapsed, which was a sign that her lungs were at the very end.

There were a few big factors that made finding a donor for Tricia very difficult:
1) Tricia’s blood type is very rare…so rare, in fact, that the doctors would later explain to us that there was less than a 1% chance of finding a donor that would be a good match for Tricia.
2) Lungs deteriorate more quickly than other donated organs while being moved from the donor to the recipient, so the window of time between the death of the donor and the actual transplant surgery would have to be extremely short. Unfortunately, transplanted organs are often moved thousands of miles from donor to recipient.
3) Because she had to have a double lung transplant, she could not have a living donor. Her donor had to be a deceased donor. Donating organs after your dead doesn’t hurt much (in case you’ve ever wondered), but, unfortunately, very few people make the decision to be an organ donor, so the “supply” of healthy lungs is very limited.

So, the chances that Tricia's medical team would locate a match and have the time to retrieve the lungs and perform the successful 9-hou surgery were incredibly small. Which is why, when we got the call that April 2nd morning that a match had been found and that Tricia would be going into surgery that evening, we were full of mixed emotions.

Knowing that a match had been found also meant knowing that somebody had died that day, probably unexpectedly and possibly tragically. It meant knowing that there was probably a mother, father, brother, sister, wife or husband, maybe even children who were experiencing a great loss, and others who were just being told the news of the death of their friend.

But, it also meant that somebody had made the decision during their life to become an organ donor…to offer the chance for Tricia to experience abundant life. So, not because of death, but because of life, we both prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for the donor and peace for the family AND we celebrated.

And, two years later, on this anniversary, we continue to remember the death of Tricia’s donor and the pain that this day might bring his or her family and friends...we pray for their peace and comfort today, and we continue to celebrate the abundant life that Tricia has been given.

So, tonight, at Nags Head Church, we’re also going to remember and celebrate, because we too know that Jesus’ death was meant to give us life, abundantly here on earth and for eternity. We will remember His death, thank His Father God for sacrificing His one and only Son for us, and celebrate our new life together.

Nate

8 Minutes with Gwyneth

2011-04-11T10:30:00.002-04:00

Disney (Part 3)

2011-04-06T08:00:00.001-04:00

After the parade, we headed off to check out some more rides.

Minnie's House.

It IS a small world! We ran into some friends from college...we had no idea they were there!

Uncle Terry.

These guys were great!

Second time on the carousel!

After going all day without a nap, Gwyneth fell asleep a few minutes after taking these shots, and she slept right through the fireworks.

Sad that the day is nearly over...

Nate

Disney (Part 2 Video)

2011-04-05T14:00:00.002-04:00

Disney (Part 2)

2011-04-05T09:00:00.002-04:00

One of Gwyneth's favorite parts of the day was the parade. We got some great seats right in front of the castle. She spent the entire parade waving and "wow"ing at every character who walked by. Look for her little hand waving in a few of the photos (and look for Tricia and I hidden in one of these photos).

The evil stepmother said something very evil to Gwyneth.

I swear to you that Prince Charming looked right at Gwyneth,
smiled and winked at her.

Nate

Disney (Part 1 Video)

2011-04-04T15:00:00.001-04:00

Disney (Part 1)

2011-04-03T23:10:00.001-04:00

Yes, indeed...I surprised Tricia and Gwyneth with a trip to Disney World's Magic Kingdom a few months ago! A birthday gift for Gwyneth, but something that Tricia has had on her bucket list for years. I'd been secretly planning this trip for nearly a year, and Tricia had no idea where we were going until we arrived at the airport! She didn't even know we were going anywhere until a few days before when I told her to start packing!

I did the Disney thing with my family when I was younger, but Tricia had never been. I have to say that it was just as fun (if not more so) to go as a parent. Although Gwyneth may not remember much about this trip when she is older, she definitely loved the experience, and it was so much fun to watch her face all day long. I'm pretty sure that Gwyneth still doesn't have any idea what "Disney" means...she's had very little exposure to Mickey and the gang before this trip, and she certainly had no idea what we were doing until we arrived. But she was amazed, nonetheless.

It was also great to have my sister Sarah and bil Terry join us (we stayed with them in FL for a few nights). They gave Gwyneth a Cinderella dress to wear as a birthday gift, and Gwyneth received a button to wear all day to let everyone know that she was celebrating her birthday. Everybody who worked at the park who saw her button wished her a happy birthday!

We arrived shortly after the park opened, and stayed all the way through the fireworks show that night. Here are some photos from the first part of the day!

Cinderella's Castle.

Check out her button...and her sparkly slippers.

The first ride!

Jungle Cruise

Gwyneth LOVED the animals!

She was a brave little girl to survive this one!

A Goofy kiss.

We knew going in that the only characters Gwyneth would immediately recognize would be the Toy Story crew. She carried her Woody toy with her everywhere all day, and we hoped that we would run into some of the characters...thankfully, less than an hour into the day, we found her two favorite people in the whole world, Woody and Jessie! In fact, other than Goofy, these were the only two characters we were able to meet all day!

She made sure to show big Woody her Woody toy.

It's a Small World After all! This was Gwyneth's favorite ride!

Aunt Sarah!

Underneath Cinderella's Castle.

Watching a show at the Castle steps.

Up next...photos of the mid day parade!

Nate

3rd Transplativersary

2011-04-02T13:40:00.001-04:00

So much to be thankful for today, and we truly are.

But, although we do not know who they are, there is a family somewhere out there who is mourning the 3rd anniversary of the death of a loved one today.

Please pray for Tricia's donor family with us today.

Nate

A Magical Birthday

2011-04-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

I've held this secret for as long as I possibly can...I surprised Tricia and Gwyneth a few months ago with a once in a lifetime early birthday gift...can you guess what we did?

Nate

Papa's Baby GRL

2011-03-31T21:37:00.002-04:00

Newspaper Article

2011-03-27T15:34:00.003-04:00

Tricia and I were interviewed for this newspaper article last week. Take a look, and please consider praying for Jason and others who are waiting on the transplant list. And, consider becoming an organ donor...the only reason there are 110,543 people on the list today is because there are millions of people in the US who are not organ donors.

Nate

Growing Up

2011-03-25T00:16:00.003-04:00

She's growing up, and I love every single moment of it!

Nate

Bullseye

2011-03-20T22:00:00.001-04:00

We took Gwyneth to a small, local horse show this weekend. She loved introducing Bullseye to all the other horses.

Nate

Beach Cruiser

2011-03-19T15:00:00.001-04:00

Nate

Epstein

2011-03-18T16:16:00.004-04:00

Don't be too jealous, but Gwyneth and I had our toes in the ocean today! It's about 75f here on the Outer Banks this afternoon!

Nate

Shoot for the Moon

2011-03-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

Gwyneth is obsessed with the moon. Day or night, if the moon is anywhere in the sky to be seen, Gwyneth has an uncanny knack for finding it and pointing to it with an excited "ooooo" (for "moon").

Gwyneth also loves to play with any kind of ball. She'll drop everything else to play catch.

I was outside a few days playing basketball with our foster child and a few friends. Gwyneth was begging for a turn. I lifted her up a few times to drop the ball in the basket, and then she saw the moon. The next time I gave her the ball, I could tell immediately what was going on in her little head...she found the moon, squatted down, lifted the ball over her head, and took her best shot.

The day will come when Gwyneth will realize that she'll never hit that target. I just hope she never stops trying.

Nate

Frontyard Monday

2011-03-07T18:12:00.004-05:00

Nate

Backyard Monday

2011-03-07T15:28:00.006-05:00

I usually take Mondays off because I'm typically working all weekend. And, now that Gwyneth is in pre-school every Monday morning, Tricia and I have a few hours for just the two of us. After dropping Gwyneth off at school this morning, we spent some time at a local coffee shop hanging out, then came back home and took a few photos in the backyard. After Gwyneth wakes up from her nap in a little while, we're going to take a few more with her.

I hope you're able to enjoy somebody you love today!

Nate

Nathan Lawrenson Photography

2011-02-21T19:53:00.004-05:00

I am gearing back up for business for the 2011 season over at Nathan Lawrenson Photography. I had the great pleasure of shooting for several blog readers last year...it's always a blessing to meet those who have been praying for our family and following our story.

If you're vacationing on the OBX this year and are interested in setting up a shoot with me, please head over to Nathan Lawrenson Photography and contact me ASAP as my schedule is quickly filling up.

Nate

White Rose Blooming (3 Years)

2011-02-21T13:15:00.001-05:00

This is a little late, but better than never!

You are now 32 inches tall and you weigh around 24 lbs!

This past year has brought some incredible new experiences for you. You stood up without any help for the first time just before you turned two, and over the next few months you learned how to cruise around by hanging onto the edges of furniture. You also were given a walker that helped you learn to use your legs and take bigger steps. By April, you were taking a few steps all by yourself, and by the end of the summer you were walking everywhere on your own. You continue to use your AFO ankle braces to help keep your feet flat on the ground when you're wearing your shoes, but we think you'll be out of them before too much longer.

In the past few months you've begun to climb steps using hand rails, and you can even go up and down one step all by yourself without falling. You love to jump, and if there is anything nearby worth climbing, you'll give it a shot. You also love to hang from things like a monkey...the kitchen table, door nobs, playground equipment and anyone who will offer you a hand to swing on. You are a daredevil for sure, afraid of nothing, and always getting back up without any tears when you fall.

You received your first hearing aids (pink, of course) in February, and quickly became comfortable wearing them, although you do like to play hide and seek with them in the car...you hide them, Mama and Papa spend a few hours seeking them. Although you can hear very well with your left ear without the hearing aids, you do have trouble hearing anything with your right ear. You began spending time once a week at home with a special teacher, Miss Heather, who helped you learn how to listen and how to speak using sign language and spoken word. Your verbal vocabulary has grown this past year from about 5 words to well over 40, even if just Mama and Papa are the only ones who can understand most of what you say. You can even say a few words together, and love using your signs and spoken words to communicate what you want or need.

You love to wear your glasses, and sometimes even refuse to take them off when it's time for a bath or to go to sleep. But, with or without them, you love to see and explore new things. You still love to read books, and you are fascinated with watching other children play. You are particularly in love with anything that involves Dora, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Elmo, Yo Gabba Gabba, and especially Toy Story...Woody, Buzz, Jessie and Bullseye are happy to go with you anywhere.

You still love water. The ocean, the pool, the bathtub or even just a cup of water to dip your fingers in. Your favorite part of every day continues to be bath time...we literally have to drag you out of the tub sometimes. You took swimming lessons in the spring, and we spent a lot of time at the pool this year. And, anytime we go to the beach and walk over the dunes and see the ocean, you can't contain your excitement.

You have spent a lot of time with your friends and cousins this year. You love to play and dance with other children, and you are so good about sharing toys and getting along with others. You made several trips out of town to visit family and friends, and you are never scared about meeting somebody new and offering them a hug and a kiss. Your hugs are famous...you love to squeeze as tight as you can and let others know jut how much you love them. And, if a hug and kiss aren't appropriate, you also love to give out high fives and fist bumps.

In December, you began to attend a special preschool program twice a week at one of the local elementary schools for children just like you. You LOVE school, and you always come home ready for a big lunch and a long nap. You've also graduated from the nursery at church to the preschool Lil'K classroom. Even though you're the smallest and youngest in the class, your teachers say that you love to participate and are totally engaged with everything around you.

Turning three also means that you had to say "bye bye" to some people. Miss Donna, Miss Tanya and Miss Jenn have been spending time with you at home each week for the past three years, helping you to learn to speak and walk and play. You have loved your time with them, and they have been a huge part in your development and progress.

In the coming year we look forward to hearing you continue to develop your vocabulary as you grow in your ability to communicate with the world around you. We are anticipating that your time in school with be a huge help as you learn to play and socialize with others. We think that you might be running by the end of the summer. We'll spend as much time as we can at the beach and the pool this summer!

We Love You!

Mama and Papa

Snow At The Beach

2011-02-18T23:54:00.004-05:00

Here are a few shots of a recent little snow storm that rolled our way a few weeks ago. We don't get much of the white stuff, and even when we do, it doesn't stick around for long. But, it sure is pretty to look at.

Nate

Photos on the Beach!

2011-02-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

Tricia and Gwyneth and I got to spend some time on the beach a few weeks ago, enjoying some warmer weather and celebrating Gwyneth's birthday!

Nate

Pink & Brown Day Photos

2011-02-15T20:14:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone who participate. Several people put photos on Facebook as well, but I don't want to use those photos as I wasn't given permission to do so. Gwyneth had a great birthday, definitely the best ever!

Nate

FaithHopeLovebugs

2011-02-02T08:35:00.003-05:00

Tricia has a new blog! I've finally talked her into blogging about all the things she loves (starting with me!). You should go check it out, right now at FathHopeLovebugs.blogspot.com.

Nate

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

2011-01-31T22:03:00.003-05:00

For the past 2+ years, since shortly after we arrived home from the hospital, Gwyneth has had some very special people in her life. A group of therapists and teachers have been coming to our house each week to work with Gwyneth and help her grow and learn as she overcomes her developmental delays.

There isn't any way that we can thank these women for the impact they have made on Gwyneth and our family. Gwyneth fell in love with each of them and would look forward to each and every visit. To her, it was play time, but Tricia and I can see the difference that each session made in Gwyneth's development.

When she turned three a few weeks ago, Gwyneth officially graduated from the care of each of these women and transitioned into a special pre-school at a local elementary school for children with disabilities. We are truly going to miss our time with them each week, and we know that they will miss Gwyneth. To do what little we could to say "thank you", we took this incredible group out to eat last week, and snapped a few photos so that Gwyneth will be able to remember forever.

Miss Donna, speech therapy

Miss Heather, hard of hearing teacher

Miss Tanya, physical therapy

Miss Jenn, occupational therapy

Nate

Changes

2011-01-28T09:31:00.002-05:00

Yes, I'm making some changes to the blog. No, it's not complete yet. Yes, I am going to post photos of Pink&Brown day ASAP, as well as a few other things. Thanks for your patience!

Nate

Sanctity of Human Life Sunday

2011-01-22T20:45:00.003-05:00

"Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—You're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, You know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, You watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day."
(Psalm 139:14-16)

Below is what a 24 week "fetus" looks like. I only wish I could describe to you what it feels like. I have no doubt that anyone who could have held that tiny hand would truly understand just how sacred every human life is, born or unborn.

Nate

Happy Birthday, Gwyneth Rose!

2011-01-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday Gwyneth Rose! You are the most beautiful gift from God. The joy of our hearts. Your smile is infectious, and your laugh is contagious. We love you beyond words and are so excited to show you how much fun being three years old can be. You continue to grow in your own incredibly special way, and we wouldn't trade being a part of it for anything in the world.

Love, Mama & Papa

Gwyneth's Birthday - Pink & Brown Day 2011!

2011-01-05T23:09:00.004-05:00

Guess who will be three on Saturday!?!

You might remember that we invited everyone to celebrate Gwyneth's birthday the past two years by wearing either pink, brown or a combination of those two colors on January 8. Before she was born, we chose the combination of pink and brown to use for Gwyneth's room and other things. As it would turn out, the vast majority of her clothes are also pinks and browns, which is totally cool with us.

We have had so much fun inviting you to celebrate the day with us...we can't wait for Gwyneth to be old enough to understand how fun this day is for everyone who participates. Like Last Year, we're inviting those of you who are participating to email us a photo of yourself wearing your pink and brown on Saturday, January 8th.

Please email your photos to PinkAndBrownDay AT hotmail DOT com

Thanks! And, check back in this weekend for an update on how our little preschooler is progressing.

Nate

Ho Ho Ho!

2010-12-28T18:07:00.004-05:00

2008

2009

2010 - finally getting up enough courage to kiss the big guy...

Nate

Lawrenson Family Christmas

2010-12-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

My little cousins...

My sister, bil and niece...

Nate

Christmas Dance Party!

2010-12-27T18:26:00.006-05:00

Four little cousins and a friend, dancing together on Christmas night.

Nate

Lawrenson Family Photos

2010-12-27T16:59:00.006-05:00

Very thankful that my entire family was able to get together this Christmas...it's been over a year since we had everyone together. And, although I missed a few days early in the week with a sinus infection, and missed the last few days having my gall bladder removed, it was still great fun.

Nate

Surgery Tomorrow

2010-12-26T21:06:00.002-05:00

After some serious stomach issues the past 24 hours, I've been diagnosed with gall stones. I'll be in surgery to remove my gall bladder. Yipee....

Thanks

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T07:24:00.004-05:00

Kirschner Family Christmas

2010-12-23T14:41:00.009-05:00

"Brilliant" CF Video

2010-12-13T16:21:00.002-05:00

Tricia and I love this video...what a great way to explain what Cystic Fibrosis is...the cute British accents don't hurt...

Nate

Pre-School

2010-12-11T12:02:00.004-05:00

This is just a quick post to let you know that a certain little girl began pre-school this past week. She's attending a special class at the local elementary school for children with disabilities...her 5-6 classmates share similar developmental delays, and her teachers are all therapists. She loves it!

Nate

Have Yourself an Ugly Little Christmas!

2010-12-08T09:17:00.009-05:00

This past Monday night, a few of our small groups from church got together for an "Ugly Christmas Sweater Party". For those who might not know, this is basically your normal Christmas party, made 10 times more fun because everyone is asked to wear an ugly Christmas sweater (is there such thing as a not ugly Christmas sweater?). Both of the groups that hosted this party are "mommy" groups, and just about everyone came, including husbands, and including about 30 children. To add to the fun, ColemanShots and I set up a photo booth...probably the best party ever.

My sister's family...

My uncle and aunt...

"Real men in womens sweaters"

Mustaches make any photo better...

I hope your Christmas season is as fun as ours!

Nate

Blessed to be a Blessing

2010-12-02T11:30:00.001-05:00

This week, Tricia and I began a new adventure. This week, Tricia and I became foster parents.

Of course, I won't be able to share specific info about the children we will be caring for, but we are so excited about this new opportunity and wanted to share about it with you. We began the process several months ago and received our first placement this week.

I've shared with you in the past about our heart for adoption, and while it is still an option that we are considering for the future, our goal right now is to simply provide a safe place for children to live during difficult situations. As you may remember, Tricia (and two of her brothers) was adopted after being placed in the Kirschner house as a foster child. I have a few cousins, uncles and aunts and others in my family who have been adopted. And, we have many friends who are adoptive and foster parents.

We have been blessed to be a blessing. I believe that with all my heart. To not take the blessings He has given to Tricia, Gwyneth and I and turn them into blessings for others would be selfish. Being foster parents is a great way for Tricia and I to be a blessing...we have the time, we have the space, we have the heart for children.

I don't think it's any coincidence that we are beginning this journey during the Christmas season...God gave us His Son so that He could become our heavenly Father. No greater gift could He have given to us. Christmas should be a time for us to be thankful for our blessings and give from our heart to those in need.

Last year, Tricia and I participate in Advent Conspiracy. It forever changed the way we celebrate Christmas and gave us one more reason to consider becoming foster parents. Not everyone can open their home to children, but we can all invest in the lives of others in some way. Take a look at the video below, visit the Advent Conspiracy Website, and consider making this the best Christmas you've ever had.

Nate

Bowling!

2010-11-29T21:56:00.003-05:00

We took Gwyneth bowling for the first time last week...she loved it!

Fast Track (Updated 11.1.10)

2010-11-01T10:00:00.002-04:00

So, I figured for those of you who are just joining us and don't have the time or desire to spend the few hours that it would take to read through every post here, this is a good way to learn all about us in just a few minutes.

My name is Nathan Lawrenson (most people call me Nate). On June 27, 2004, I married Patricia Suzanne Kirschner (everyone calls her Tricia), and we began our crazy life together. Up until September of 2007, we had been living in Nags Head, on the Outer Banks (OBX) of NC for two years with our dog, Meka and our cat, Ralphie.

Tricia has Cystic Fibrosis (CF), a terminal, genetically inherited disease that especially affects the lungs. When we were married, she was showing outward signs of the deterioration that her CF was causing to her body, and, with the support of her medical team, we quickly began trying to start a family, knowing that our window of opportunity was small.

In May of 2007, after a few unsuccessful years of trying to become pregnant, Tricia’s disease had progressed to the point at which her doctors strongly advised that we stop our efforts to conceive and consider undergoing the evaluation process for the double lung transplant that could save Tricia’s life. Trusting in our doctors’ wisdom and in God’s control, and coming to terms with the fact that we would never be able to have our own children after that point, we took their advice.

Yet, all this time, since before we were even married, Tricia had been praying a secret prayer…it was even a secret to me. Tricia had been praying for a miracle baby.

In July of 2007, Tricia went through the week long evaluation process at Duke University Medical Center to determine if she was a candidate for a transplant. She was a candidate, and we began making plans to temporarily move to Durham, NC to be close to Duke.

In early September, the day before Tricia was to begin the physical therapy that would prepare her to be placed on the transplant list, we found out that we were unexpectedly pregnant. Against the advice of many of our doctors, we chose to keep the pregnancy, having been told that both Tricia and the baby had less than a 50% chance of surviving.

From September through December, Tricia participated in physical therapy five days per week to keep her body in the best shape possible, all the while growing sicker and more dependent on oxygen. On December 27, Tricia went into the hospital for what we hoped would be a short stay. The short stay turned into a long stay.

Because of her deteriorated health, Tricia was moved, on January 3, 2008, to an ICU room. During this time, Tricia was getting less than one hour of sleep per every twenty-four hours. The baby was just under twenty-four weeks old (gestation) and doing as well as possible.

On January 8, Tricia was taken to the OR where she was sedated, given a tracheostomy and placed on a ventilator, with the hope that she could carry the baby for a few more days. The trach and ventilation went well, but Tricia was too unstable to return to the ICU, and the decision was made to perform an emergency C-Section right there in the OR. There were no less than 75 medical staff with Tricia in that room that day.

Gwyneth Rose Lawrenson was born that day at 24 weeks and 4 days gestation, weighing just under 1 lb 6 oz and measuring 12 inches long.

Following Gwyneth's arrival, Tricia was placed in a medically induced coma for nine days. She was slowly weaned off the paralytic and sedation meds until she was fully awake and aware of all that had taken place.

Tricia remained on the vent in the hospital for over four months as she slowly regained some of her strength. On February 22, less than seven weeks after giving birth, Tricia was listed and activated on the double lung transplant list. She was given a high score but was told that new lungs may be difficult to find because her blood type was very rare. In the meantime, she was walking nearly a mile everyday (with the help of a vent and a walker) and visiting Gwyneth for just a few minutes each day.

On April 2, my 27th birthday, we got the call that changed our lives forever. Tricia was going to receive a second chance at life. That night, and throughout the early-morning hours of the next day, Tricia underwent the nine hour surgery to replace her old, sick lungs with a new, healthy pair.

As of November 1, 2010:

Gwyneth Rose spent over eighteen weeks in the NICU. On May 15 (2008), we finally brought her home (to our hotel in Durham). Although she remains on a few medications to help her premature body grow, and her development is progressing slowly, she continues to do incredibly well with no major setbacks. Gwyneth has amazed everyone, including her nurses and doctors. At 2.5 years old, Gwyneth finally began walking on her own, and, with the help of glasses and hearing aids, she is discovering how to communicate with others with sign language and a slowly growing vocal vocabulary. Although she is very small for her age as a former micro-preemie, she is now growing at a very steady pace and is well over 24 lbs. Gwyneth is the joy of our hearts and a smiling baby, and we are having so much fun introducing her to the all of the things that God has given us in this beautiful world!

Tricia is has recovered very well from the transplant surgery. After less than three weeks of recovery, she was finally discharged from the hospital on April 22 (2008) and completed several weeks of rehab at Duke by the beginning of June. While there have been no signs of rejection in her new lungs, Tricia has had some issues with lung infection and was diagnosed in June of 2008 with Post-Transplant Lymphoma (PTLD). As of November (2008), the lymphoma has been in remission. Although she experiences constant minor health issues related to her immunosuppressant meds and her lingering CF , Tricia is now feeling healthier than she has in years as she continues to live with a strong heart and a smile on her face. She is taking to her long awaited roll as a mother with as much joy, grace and determination as she approaches everything in her life.

I literally lived at the hospital with Tricia from December of '07 to April of '08, spending most of my time in Tricia's room and making several visits with Gwyneth every day, sleeping most nights at Tricia's feet, and only returning to our hotel for a little sleep and to spend some time with our dog, Meka. Tricia's mother, Agnes was there with us for most of that time as well, and much of our family (from NC and NJ) spent lots of time with Tricia and Gwyneth whenever they were able.

Tricia and I are slowly returning to a more normal sense of life. We are incredibly excited to have Gwyneth home, and are enjoying our lives as full-time parents. We finally returned home to the OBX in early June of 2008 and purchased our first home in the fall of 2008. We are spending a lot of time with our families, traveling to visit friends, and are looking forward to another awesome summer on the beach!

We are forever grateful to Tricia's donor and his/her family for making the decision to give Tricia a chance to be a mother and wife (not to mention and daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece and aunt) for several more years.

We are also humbled to have this opportunity to allow God to use our story to show Himself and bring our passion for awareness of and support for Cystic Fibrosis, Organ Donation, Premature Birth and Lymphoma to the minds and hearts of even more compassionate people.

Thank you for reading our story, and feel free to check back in as we update the blog often. Also, take advantage of the links on the right-hand sidebar to find out even more about our story.

Nate, Tricia and Gwyneth Rose

Fall Family Fotos

2010-10-27T20:40:00.010-04:00

Last week, on our way home from a short trip to our college town of Lynchburg, VA, we took a short detour in rural VA to visit our amazing friends, the Lawler family, at Faith Farm. Tricia loves the idea of living on a farm, Gwyneth loves checking out the animals, and it was a perfect location to grab some great family photos!

BTW, if you love farming, barnyard animals, hard-working people, and incredible southern food, do yourself a favor and read This Article about the Lawlers' journey from south Jersey to central Virginia.

Pumpkin Time!

2010-10-24T15:39:00.010-04:00

We went to the pumpkin patch last week with some friends. Yes, the same patch we went to the past two years (check this out!).

Hay ride to the patch.

Picking out our pumpkins.

Hanging with friends basically doubles the fun.

Gwyneth and LK munching on some apples.

These next few are my favorites.

Nate

Pumpkin Princess

2010-10-15T23:35:00.004-04:00

We went pumpkin picking with some friends today. This photo sums it up very well.

Nate

(Update) Crazy Week

2010-10-12T20:46:00.002-04:00

Gwyneth's arm is not fractured, so the cast is no more. And, Tricia received good reports concerning her bronchoscopy! Thanks for your prayer!

This past week has been crazy. We drove to Durham early Tuesday morning (October 5) for some appointments for both Tricia and Gwyneth. We had a few more appointments the next day, so we spent the night in a hotel.

That night, as we were getting her cleaned up to go to sleep, Gwyneth decided to jump off the hotel bed. She landed awkwardly on her right arm. Neither of us saw her land, so we're not sure exactly how she landed, but she was crying hard (which she never does) and was not wanting to use her right arm.

After about 5 minutes of crying (again, something she never does), we decided it was best to take her to the ER. Fortunately, we were just a few miles from Duke, where, of course, they know her history very well.

Long story short, we left the ER around 3am with Gwyneth in a full arm cast. And examination and two sets of x-rays failed to show any bruising, swelling, breaks or fractures, she had stopped crying much earlier that evening, and she was not showing any signs of pain. But, just to be safe, they decided to wrap a cast and re-examine her a week later (which will be tomorrow).

It's possible that she has a buckle fracture, but after a week now, she hasn't show any signs of pain and uses her hand as much as she can with the cast. She loves showing off her cast and the drawings we've done for her, but I'm pretty sure she'll be OK with losing it as well. If all looks good tomorrow, they'll remove the cast.

Along with all of that, Tricia is also scheduled for a bronchoscopy. We'd appreciate your prayers for tomorrow.

Thanks!

Nate

$250k Grant for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation

2010-10-04T22:31:00.002-04:00

The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is the leading vote-getter for a $250k grant from Pepsi! Read about what the money would be used for and vote for the CFF HERE! Voting continues through the end of October, and there are 30,000 people in the US who could use your help!

Nate

New Words!

2010-10-04T15:48:00.004-04:00

Gwyneth has been slowly progressing with her speech development. Just this week, for the first time, she is able to say "mama" consistently. Tricia is very excited. Below is a video that highlights a few of the words that Gwyneth can say (there are more), both by sign and by mouth.

Great Strides Outer Banks 2010

2010-09-20T00:47:00.011-04:00

Earl Update

2010-09-03T11:12:00.002-04:00

Just updating quickly to let you know that we're OK. We stayed on the beach at my parents' house. Just a lot of wind and rain on our end of the beach. I'll try to post some photos later.

Nate

Earl

2010-09-01T11:20:00.003-04:00

Earl is heading our way, although predictions say he'll just graze us on his up the coast. I thought I'd repost a few videos I shot during Hurricane Hannah two years ago so you can see just how sensational the hotshot weathermen like to be...

CF Telethon

2010-08-16T09:35:00.003-04:00

A childhood friend of mine now works for a NC television station that holds an annual telethon for Cystic Fibrosis every summer (read more about that Here). Pat met up with us a few weeks ago to film a short clip that was shown during the telethon (see below). I thought you might like to watch it...you might also like to know that the telethon raised nearly half a million dollars for CF research!!!

On a related note, a young CF girl named Jaimee passed away yesterday just a few days after receiving her long-awaited double lung transplant. Jaimee is the cousin of a dear friend of mine...she leaves behind a husband and an awesome extended family who could really use your prayer today.

With another death in the CF community, I'm reminded more than ever that there is still no cure, but that we are getting closer every day to finding that cure and making a HUGE difference in the lives of thousands of CFers around the world.

Thanks.

Nate

Healthy Heart

2010-08-13T14:46:00.002-04:00

We drove back to Duke yesterday for Tricia's post-op and for an echocardiogram of Gwyneth's heart.

Tricia is feeling good and the pain meds have finally exited her system. The surgeon reports that everything looks good and is healing nicely. She'll have another post-op in about two weeks.

Gwyneth has had a PDA since birth (even though the heart valve had appeared to be closed a few days after her birth, it was later discovered to still be an issue). In most cases in young children, the valve eventually closes without ever having caused any issues. Every report through yesterday showed that her valve was still open, but, this latest echo showed that it is now closed. In the words of the cardiologist, Gwyneth has a "perfectly healthy heart". This is great news because it means she avoids the surgical procedure which would be needed in a few years to close the valve (and we won't be scheduling another cardiology appt for a very long time).

Thanks again for your prayer for my two girls!

Nate

10 Years

2010-08-10T16:19:00.004-04:00

Ten years ago this week, I met Tricia (read more about that story Here). You'll probably think this is untrue, or at least a little crazy, but I knew that first day that she was the girl I needed to spend the rest of my life with. I can't imagine even attempting to describe what these ten years have meant to me, so I won't try...but, I think these two photos sum it all up rather well...

Nate

Thursday Morning Update

2010-08-05T11:00:00.000-04:00

Some good news...Tricia was in serious pain immediately out of surgery, but after a few hours in the OR recovery ward, her pain meds finally caught up with her pain and she was able to be discharged to spend the night in our hotel after all!

After a good night's sleep, we were home by 2pm on Wednesday afternoon, just in time to tuck Gwyneth in for her nap. Tricia has had little to no pain since Tuesday evening and the mininmal bleeding has ceased. She will be on pain meds and heavy steroids for a few more days, which means she's feeling a bit loopy and having trouble sleeping for long stretches of time.

Of course, it's too early to identify any noticeable difference in her breathing, smell, taste, etc.

Thanks again for the prayer...Tuesday was a very long day and it was encouraging to know so many were praying for Tricia.

Nate

Sinus Surgery Update

2010-08-03T18:32:00.003-04:00

Tricia's surgery went well. She was back in the recovery room as scheduled around 2pm. Since waking up, however, she's been experiencing a lot of pain, in her sinuses and in her throat (probably from being intubated). She's very uncomfortable, so instead of spending the night in the hotel with me, she made the decision to stay in the hospital at least until the morning.

We're praying she feels much better in the morning so that we can head home to Gwyneth. We're also praying an inpatient room will open up for her so she doesn't have to spend all night in the busy, noisy OR recovery ward.

Nate

Sinus Surgery Today

2010-08-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

Tricia goes into surgery at 11:45 am today.

Sinus surgery is very common for cystic fibrosis patients, and even more common for lung transplant patients. In fact, it's surprising that she's made it this far out from her TX without the surgery.

The purpose of the surgery is to both open up her airways a bit and to prevent nasty bacteria and other stuff that could be harmful to her delicate lungs from finding a comfy place to hang out. It is often a rather uncomfortable, if not painful procedure that must be repeated every so often, but Tricia's surgeon is very progressive/cutting edge and has had great success with minimal pain/discomfort and very few repeat customers.

Obviously, anytime you're drilling around inside your head, there are risks of damage to the eyes, skull, brain, etc. The procedure may take several hours, but hopefully Tricia won't be required to stay overnight...we're still hoping that 2010 will be the first year of Tricia's life that she hasn't had to spend a single night in a hospital!

Thanks for your prayer! And, please, don't share your scary sinus surgery experiences here...Tricia is not encouraged at all by reading about how this might not be a fun experience.

Nate

Red Wagon

2010-07-28T09:00:00.000-04:00

Gwyneth loves her new red wagon! Tricia loves taking walks! I love my new camera!

Nate

Busy Week

2010-07-27T13:42:00.003-04:00

We have a busy week ahead. This Tuesday we drive to (and back from) Duke for Gwyneth's MRI. They'll be looking at her inner ears for any damage or abnormalities. Hopefully we'll have some more information concerning her hearing loss and her under-developed speech.

Then, next Monday, Tricia and I will be driving back to Duke for Tricia's sinus surgery. Sinus surgery is very common for CF patients post-transplant. The only thing Tricia has consistently had issues with since her transplant is her sinuses...several infections every winter. If all goes well, we'll be home by Wednesday evening.

Nate

Killing Time at the Mall

2010-07-15T11:30:00.000-04:00

We spent a few days in Durham this week for some check-ups for the girls. Tricia was busier than Gwyneth and I, so we had some extra time to hang together...SouthPoint Mall is one of our favorite places!

Nate