Wednesday, September 5, 2007

(Bump) Not A Fight



You'll notice that I refer to Tricia's experience with CF as either an "adventure" or a "journey". We all know people who have been through a "fight" with one disease or another...usually cancer. I'm not saying anything bad about those people or the people who use that phrase...I simply choose to not use that word.

To say that Tricia is "fighting" CF would imply that I believe that CF is an evil thing, which I do not. Yes, it's basically killing my wife, it makes both of our lives complicated, and it is something we pray that she will be free of one day, but it is not evil.

I believe that Tricia is who she is because of her CF...she's a beautiful, fun, positive, compassionate person in large part because of her experience with CF. I also believe that Tricia has CF because that is the exact way that God created her...CF is as much a part of Tricia as my bowed legs are a part of me. Psalm 139:13 says that it was God who literally decided exactly who I would be as I was growing in my mother's womb...He did the same with Tricia. If God created Tricia with CF, then I have to believe that it was for a good purpose.

So, you will not hear me talk about Tricia "fighting" CF. We both realize that this is God's plan for our lives, no matter the outcome. We are doing everything possible to insure that Tricia has the best quality and quantity of life possible, and at times, it certainly does feel more like a struggle than anything else. We are on this journey together, and on the really good days, we're on an adventure.

If you still don't quite understand what I'm talking about, please, read Tricia's Story...

Nate

BTW...that's us in the picture above, beginning our journey together on our honeymoon in Maui.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your persepective amazes me....you guys are wise beyond your years! Thank you for allowing God to use you, through CF! I have been touched in a way I never expected. Our pastor spoke today on anxiety and the cures that our world offers...compared to the cure that will work...PRAYER! (Phil 4:6) Your family has helped me to return back to this...my prayer life had been severely lacking! So thank you! Thank you Tricia...thank you Gwyneth, thank you Nate...but thank you Lord!

Florida_Mom said...

I understand a little of what you mean. I try to feel the same way about my son. He has autism and people are always telling me how sorry they are about it.

It usually gives me opportunity to share that I am not sorry and that he is a gift from God Our God doesn't make mistakes and all things will work to this glory. The struggles are overwhelming sometimes but God always seems to supply the grace to get though them.

I praise the Lord for the way he is using you and your blog and giving you strength as you use this struggle for his glory.

In Him
Myra <><

P.S. Yeah I get to post in the top 3 comments. Praying that you also get some good rest as it is very late. I swill use this time of insomnia to pray for you guys tonight.

Violet said...

that is an amazing post and a beautiful way to look at life.

Jayne said...

As someone with CF, I also dislike the word 'fight' and the like. My other pet hate word is 'brave' heheee. It drives me mad when good meaning people tell me I am brave or something.

I have been enjoying seeing the new pics. Best wishes to Trica, Gywneth and yourself.

Take care.

Scott said...

Great article Nate! I like the idea of life being a journey or an adventure too! Gayle and I prayed for you guys last evening in our prayer time. We are praying for a donor soon. We trust the adventure Captain no matter where He steers the ship! Have a great day.

pam said...

I truly believe that we are just as blessed on the bad days and through a crisis because we are His. We are blessed because He is always with us,
He loves us enough to prune us,
He is faithful to stay watchful of the refiners fire. It seems as I read your blog that you do realize that not a moment of your lives go by without being blessed.

Tammy C said...

A different perspective on words and illneses.I think people use the word fight because it is almost like one day they are healthy and next day they are fighting for their life because they cancerCancer is not something one is born with like with CF.

I do like journey because you and Tricia are on a journey of having a life together.

Byt he way the picture of Gwenth is the fraggle hat hilarious.

Shannon said...

I LOVE that you say "adventure" and "journey" to describe the process of your life together! Thank-you for sharing the testimony of your life with us.
Fraggle Rock hat is also my favorite pic of Gwyneth. ;)

Only Servants Ministries said...

I do not think it is by coincidence that I read this blog this morning after making a ton of mated picture with the same verse on it. My husband and I are selling Africa pictures to raise money for ministries in Kenya we will be involved in. There is one black and white picture of a little boy with his thumb in his mouth, snot coming out his nose, holding a empty bowl looking up at the camera. My mom bought one and wanted Psalm 139:13-14 written out on it. Because we all ARE beautifully and wonderfully made. Just like William in Libera. Why should we look at difficult time as "bad". It's just a bridge we have to cross to make us who God wants us to be. We should take hard times and "consider it all joy" (James 1) as Tricia does.
(I missed this blog b/c I hadn't found you guys yet- so thanks for bringing it back)

Destini said...

I appreciate your perspective. You are right, fighting does denote negative when you think about it. There are so many positives that have come from this situation. When God promises to work things together for the good of those that love him, you can see it in your situation. As always, you give me interesting things to think about. I continue to pray for your family. Have a blessed day!

kidsworld said...

This is a great personal sermon well written, as usual. Glad that you bumped it as it made such an impact on me when it was originally posted.

On another note, haven't heard that you've played or sang to Tricia recently. Are you still able to do this or does the hospital not allow it? My vote for the music for your next video would be to use one of your own recordings (Maybe Gwyneth and Tricia's homegoing montage?!!!) How exciting just to think about!

It does my own heart so much good to know that Tricia can hold her darling baby whenever she pleases. (I can only imagine the feelings you have) Will she be able to do kangaroo care prior to her transplant or is that too risky?

Only because I haven't read anyone comment and you haven't dedicated a post entirely to it recently, how are you holding up? As I pray for your girls, I always include you and your strength.

Blessings...
refreshing in ohio

Christy said...

Someone once asked me if I could have one wish, would it be to get rid of CF. I told them no way! Not only has it made me who I am today, but it has brought me such wonderful friendships that I would never have known otherwise. Tricia.. I totally understand your perspective! Thanks Nate for sharing that.

Christy said...

Looking back and even during the time, I learned more by having cancer than I ever would have without it. We have went thru another situation with my husbands leg and it has taught us a lot as well. Your perspective on things is the reason that I keep coming back. It is a true blessing to hear the possitive in a situation that most would make negative. It also helps to keep my day to day perspective a little more focused. Thank God for all things, not just the ones we choose to want.
Christy in KY

Meredith K Beaupre said...

As always, your blog is a wonderful start to my work day! It also helps me to start out with prayer, short as it may be.

Reading about your adventure gives me such a wonderful perspective on my own life. We are blessed to have no major 'issues' in my immediate family and your story helps me to not take that for gratned. I value every moment I have with my husband, son, and our extended relatives. I truly appreciate being able to do the things I do with my family, and that appreciation comes largely from reading about your adventure.

Thank you for sharing your lives with us!!

hugs and love!

bdodge said...

Eloquent. Beautiful. Spiritually Mature. Thank you.

Tracy P. said...

Ok, so I had to take the word "fight" out of my link to your blog under "Journeys of Other Travelers" (my blog is The Journey). After about two minutes of deliberation, I said you three are hanging on for dear life, and called it "a joy ride of a different kind". Thanks for the joy that underlies everything you write. (And let me know if there is a better descriptor.)

Katelyn said...

Nate & Tricia,
I understand, more so now, what you mean by not 'fighting' CF and that God has a good and specific purpose for Tricia having CF. It has only been in the past few years that I have been able to accept and acknowledge my CF and try to view it as best I can. I know that, if He wanted to, I could have been healed in my mother's womb. He is that powerful and that mighty, we all three know that, but I also know that He didn't. My family believes that so much of my personality has come from me having CF and being a daughter of Christ ... they intermingle but are so separate at the same time. There are times, I'm sure you both know, that I want to throw a temper tantrum and don't want to take my medicines but do it anyway. I view it as such, who am I to disturb what God so perfectly planned while I was being formed?

I've said this before, but I am so thankful that I came upon your blog and am able to see an older woman (by like 4 years) live life to her fullest with CF. It encourages me beyond words and I really hope that some day, some way I can meet you both. Thank you so much.

Emily said...

What an interesting perspective. I have never thought of "fighting" in that light. Thank you for offering new ways for people to view the world and the challenges that we face.

candicesalazar said...

Nate and Tricia,
I will try to keep this short. I have been so inspired (as a technologically-challenged mom). I have started a blog, inspired largely, by you all. The spot is called "United in Prayer". It occurred to me, as I watched your journey unfold, that there are many of us who need (and crave) prayer-many of us struggling to "get through the day". (THANK GOD THERE ARE LOVING PEOPLE BY THE THOUSANDS WILLING TO PRAY FOR A STRANGER!!) My thought is, LET'S FOSTER THAT!
So, although I have much to learn (computers stink), my heart wants to watch what God will do with this. So VERY LONG story short, I did post a link to you all. My hope is that people will leave comments posting requests, "updates", as well as miracles/how God is working, ect. People can pray and "be prayed for" so to speak...I don't know if you have any thoughts, (or time to give me any feedback), if you do I thank you and appreciate any tips you may have. Otherwise, you all look wonderful!! Praying for you still!! Nurse Candice & Co in Nebraska

Darcie said...

That's an awesome view you take on CF and your journey with it. I read a study a few months ago (and I can't remember where for the life of me), and it found that people with cancer who used more violent words "fight" and "battle" when referring to their illness had a lower success rate with their treatments. Those, like you, who used more positive words like "journey" caused their body less stress and had better success rates.
I just find stuff like that interesting and thought I'd pass it along.

Pamela said...

Here's my 'for Tricia'.

http://daytontime.blogspot.com/2008/03/for-tricia.html

Just Call Me Grammy said...

First time post from a long-time lurker. I love your perspective on the journey with both your girls. Our youngest son was born about the size of your little sweetie many years ago before the technology to save babies so small. I love seeing your pictures and watching darling little Gwenyth grow. You all are in my prayers daily.

Jen said...

I love that. I say the same thing about Paul's CP -- he is the man he is because of it.
God is God and I am so glad He is in control and knows us better than we do!

Cara said...

I "fight" it, just because I'm really really stubborn. :)

Love your perspective though.

65redroses said...

I say the exact same thing when asked about my CF!!!! Before the internet I didn't know anyone else with CF and so now to find so many people who feel the same way, act the same way and see the world the same way I do is AMAZING! So thank you Tricia (and Talana and Christy H...and all you other people who find strength in moments of weakness). May we share the love and joy and hope we have with others here on earth.
Love, Eva

kitten.mom said...

I love Maui! (-:

megalopolis said...

I've been so touched and feel blessed to just have read your blog. I found it today after my partner sent me a link because her good friend is Kristi (the maker of the fraggle rock hats). I am amazed by your perspective and I appreciate that perspective of not fighting it but a journey. I have been nearly in tears (of just pure amazement versus sadness) this morning reading your blogs and it has made my day!!

Zack and Tiffany Guy said...

Wow this really is a truely amazing story. It has really touched me. I found your link on a friends blogspot, I have been reading and watching your videos, and I will continue to come back and read. May God keep you strong and keep bringing nothing but good things for your beautiful family.