Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Story of Us (Part 9)

Nate's Version:
(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)
(Part 5)
(Part 6)
(Part 7)
(Part 8)

Tricia's Version:
(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)

This is the part of the story that could be extremely hard to believe...some of you will wonder if I'm lying, others will call me things like "idiot", "cocky" and "sexist", and some may question Tricia's sanity...you'll also be tempted to start a theological discussion in the comments (which I'm more than happy to delete)...I'm just warning you.

So, here I am, sitting in my pickup with a girl I'm crazy for, about to tell her something that I know is going to totally change our relationship forever. Either she's going to ultimately feel the same way about me and we'd live happily ever after, or she's going to be scarred for life and never want to speak to me again...the next few minutes would prove, one way or the other, to be a culmination of the past 9 months of my life...

Needless to say, I was shaking.

Our conversation lasted for about 30 minutes, and there's no real easy way to share everything about it, so here are the cliff notes (imagine that the following is Nathan talking with Tricia)...

I really like you. I think you're just about the most incredible girl I've ever met. I think you're beautiful and fun. I love your personality and how you love God with all your heart. You seem to bring out the best in me and I have literally been crazy about you since the day we met last August. I have no idea if you have been aware of how I feel for you, and I have no idea what you think about me, and I know that this conversation is going to change everything, but I've been wanting to tell you for a long time, and I can't hold it in any longer...

Umm...I really like you...as a friend. I love hanging out with you, but I don't think that I have those feelings for you. I'm not really attracted to you in that kind of way. I don't think you're the one.

So, basically, I had no plan about what I was going to say to that...even after so many months of imagining this conversation in my head, I really didn't have anything planned out beyond what I had already said. So, the next part was completely me going into desperation mode...honest, but desperate.

I basically had a theological discussion about the will of God with Tricia concerning marriage, attempting to persuade her to give me chance. Without going into details (and giving anyone even more reason to have a discussion with me), I shared with her about what I believed God wanted for us as His followers...that He has given us certain guidelines about certain things, but has left the decisions in our hands (with His help). (I'm purposely trying to keep this part vague...if you absolutely have to know exactly what I said, as some of our college friends about the "steering wheel analogy")

I explained to Tricia that I didn't believe that she was "the one" for me either (because I don't believe in "the one"), but from what I knew and experienced about her so far, I would be very, very happy with her for the rest of my life...and I knew I could make her just as happy. Even if she didn't feel the same about me, I told her that (and here comes the really crazy part), if she'd just give me a chance at this deeper relationship thing, I knew that, within a matter of days, she'd be just as crazy about me (you don't know what "stepping out on a limb" really means until you've told a girl that she'll fall in love with you).

I knew that I was taking a huge risk at being so open and honest and blunt with Tricia. I knew that what I was saying could come off as incredibly cocky and jerkish...but I was hoping that, in the time we'd spent together, Tricia had come to a place where she could at least hear what I was really trying to say.

All of this time, I could tell that Tricia was listening and thinking about what I was saying. I could also tell that I hadn't convinced her yet. So, I asked her to, at least, take what I'd shared with her and think about it for a while. I told her I'd give her as long as she needed to give me an answer (I'm not sure if I ever really asked a question).

As she stepped out of my truck that night, and I watched her walk into her house, I felt a great sense of relief...I also felt a new sense of anxiety, knowing that the last 30 minutes could have been the beginning of the end for us.

Back to the waiting game...

Nate

34 comments:

hannah said...

Praying for your girls! Glad to hear that all is going well. :) Waiting for the next part- please don't delay too long!

Emily said...

What a story! Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your life and your love for your girl. I know that having this story written down will be a lifetime treasure for you and your family, especially sweet Gwyneth.

suzie said...

Very brave step..very very brave especially as you weren't sure what the outcome was going to be, got to admire you for keeping your cool and staying calm when she said she didnt think you were the one many would have crumbled at this point. God definitley had his hand on you Nate.

Much love & praying for Tricia to be listed and get her transplant, Gwyneth to continue to progress and you to be given extra strength and good health so you can continue to be there for your girls.

mom2izzyandallen said...

Wowie! This was the best installment yet.

Jen said...

I'm glad that I know the ending (well, somewhat) of this story. :D

ApplePieMom said...

The waiting game cracks me up...especially since we all know how the story ends :) It's fun though...thanks, again, for sharing.

college student in ok said...

I have to say that the "steering wheel analogy" made me smile. I don't know exactly what you mean, but your determination in sharing your heart with Tricia was very sweet. Waiting for the next installment!!

One Happy Family! said...

What a story indeed! I love each and every installment.

Praying your girls are doing well! Have a great day!

Sarah

FourBlackSheep said...

You were not all of those 'jerk' things you mentioned. You were (and are) in love!

Even as a Christian, living your life for the Lord, love is a powerful thing.

You were not saying "do this, or else ..." You were simply saying, give me a chance, and let's see where it takes us.

I am sure it had to be gut wrenching for you. But as we all see now, it is a good thing you had that conversation. Also, as you now know, God was in it with you all the way.

Looking forward to more :-) Ashley

Bo from Florida said...

I feel like I'm watching an episode of "Lost". I tune in... watch a great show... but don't find out what happens until way later than I'd like!!!! lol

Does Tricia still have "Jack" as a doctor? He's affecting you in more ways than you know!

Marla Taviano said...

Poor Tricia! :)

Kari said...

You were/are definitely a gutsy guy. I hope the next installment is from Tricia!

Praying that today is a healing uneventful day!

maleia said...

I've been praying for your girls and you. I've enjoyed reading your story. And please don't wait to long to post the rest of it.

allison said...

Wow. That would be so awkward. I'm so glad I'm not a guy so I don't have to bring the subject up...lol

barb said...

But we know the end of the story. :P So we may be waiting to hear what you have to say about the details, but in the end she said "Yes." Aha!

I'm still praying for all of you. I hope Tricia's fever is down now, and it's nothing serious.

Anonymous said...

You are so funny! I really love how your personality shines through in your posts. You remind me a lot of my younger brother (and I think he's a pretty good guy). Best of luck with everyone's health. Thanks for sharing your lives with all of us.

Emmie said...

I just keep remembering your comment to Tricia on one of her entries about getting to know you...

"Like she was all that and a pancake"!

Keeps making me giggle that. Glad she eventually reckoned you were a pancake or we'd never have got to read this great story!

Eagerly awaiting the next installement. Love and hugs as always to you, Tricia and gorgeous baby Gwyneth xxxxx

Candice Lovett said...

thouroughly enjoying reading your guys' story. Thanks for continuing to share with all of us strangers!

Anonymous said...

Not cocky and jerkish, just totally head over heels, and might I add, quite hilarious. Eagerly anticipating hearing the rest of the story. How Tricia was "convinced" to fall in love with you and the moment when she told you how she felt. This is a great story!
Still praying for Tricia and Gwyneth. Fight the good fight!

Kelly said...

Us home-school girls can be very tough on a guy! Just ask my husband! But indeed, God does know what He is doing! Praising Him for His faithfulness illustrated in your love story!

Mrs. Wilson said...

It's a cliff hanger AGAIN!!

I'm looking forward to Part 10!

God is awesome. In reaction to your post about church and the message and Tricia texting you ... God is DEFINITELY in control ... He KNOWS how to show us that we can trust Him.

God is AWESOME!!

johanna said...

you're right, that was the best yet :) it's funny that we all know where this ultimately goes but we're (well, at least i am) SO eager to read more. thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life with the world. your humor makes it that much more enjoyable.

my husband and i dedicated our 10 month old daughter at church today and i actually thought of you guys. and how i couldn't wait for the 2 of you to be able to dedicate your ''love'' in front of your friends and family. god is so awesome. have a great week.

johanna (in southern cali.)

Hope said...

This is one of the best stories ever! You're a great writer...definitely know how to leave your audience wanting more. And in my opinion, what you said was not cocky or jerkish at all...very sweet and brave and vulnerable all at the same time.

Anonymous said...

I love reading about your love story and it's beginning!! Of course we all know the ending but knowing how it all started makes it even more amazing and beautiful if that's at all possible LOL ya ya I'm a hopeless romantic and believe in good endings!

With prayers, love, and much HOPE
Tamm Mom to Angel ^Skye^

Marsmile said...

OuCh! That must've been so difficult... emotionally and mentally! No wonder you were a bag of nerves! But oh so brave and kind, too!

Wondering what made Tricia finally say yes... Hope we find out soon! :-)

Thanks for sharing!
Marissa :-)

Michelle in MO said...

Okay, I'm trying to get your timeline. . .you met in August, 2000. . what year is this April/May bridesmaid shopping excursion happening?

My dh and I have a good story as well. . .it's stories like these that you KNOW God has put you two together!

God Bless!

Shari said...

Nate: It sounds like my husband and I were in that truck. It's very similar to our story. Can't wait for the next part. Praying, as always, for your girls.

Shari

pennymalley said...

Oh my gosh... this could be a book/ movie! I find myself waiting for each installment. I'm not sure how I found your blog (I'm sure we must have a mutual friend somewhere in blog-land), but you and your precious family have blessed me more than you can imagine. Your faith in the Lord is pure, even as it's tested. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Your wife is beautiful- it's not fair to look so good in a hospital gown! And your baby girl is the sweetest thing I've seen since my littlest was born. :)
I won't say "May God bless you" because He already has and continues to do so. But I will say thank you for being a blessing to me.

Christy said...

It's always exciting "seeing" a glimpse of how God's plan has unfolded from the begining, for you guys. >:0)

Thanks for sharing your sweet story.

Mary said...

Oh wow. What an important conversation to have. You definitely gave her lots to think about....Can't wait to hear when and how she answered back. (Meaning was it pretty quick, or did she really ponder on it a while) Again, great story.

Mary

Anonymous said...

Isn't it amazing the miracles God works? The same exact thing went on with my brother-in-law and sister. She was not attracted to him, but thought he would be a godly mate. So during their version of this "conversation", they stopped and prayed together - and right then and there God changed her heart toward the guy. And the rest is history!

Anonymous said...

This is pretty crazy - I know the ending of this story but am hanging on every installment as if I did not!

Rhea said...

Nate:

I didn't think that anything that you said was cocky or arrogant or ANYTHING like that. In all honesty, I think that what you said was very sweet and even romantic :-) You were very brave, and really stepped out on a limb, but I think that that's something that most woman would find attractive/appealing. Anyway...it's been great to follow along the story of the two of you...how you two got together.

Sara said...

Ok, you are officially a punk for making us wait on the edge of our seats--AGAIN--for the next part of your story. I call this installment "eliminating the 'what if'" in the saga of Nate & Tricia. Your love for Tricia obviously runs very deep, as does hers for you. What a wonderful gift for Gwyneth! Praying for you all!

~Sara in MD