Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Past Few Days

With Tricia's permission, I'd like to share a little about what's been going on with her over the past few days...

Basically, since Friday, and especially on Sunday and Monday, Tricia has been dealing with a serious case of Psychosis/Delirium (the for sure diagnosis has not been established yet). There were probably several factors that brought this on, including lack of sleep, postpartum hormones, lots of meds, and the physical, emotional and mental toll that the past several months has taken on her body.

The first signs came on Friday morning when Tricia began saying things and acting in ways that were not characteristic of her. Over Friday and Saturday she became increasingly anxious, stressed and confused. Early Sunday morning, while I was at the hotel sleeping, she woke up thinking and yelling that her nurse and other staff were trying to kill her. They had to use physicall force to calm her down, and she spent time off and on until about 10am on Sunday sleeping.

When I arrived back at the hospital Sunday morning, I could tell right away that she had gotten worse since I last saw her. She was beginning to spend several minutes at a time zoning out and being unresponsive, and when she did seem to be with us, she was very paranoid and confused. This behavior increased all day and late into the night until, by the time she got to sleep with the help of some haldol, she was spending almost all of her time staring off into space, occasionally repeating (either with her lips, or, when she could, with her voice) a word or phrase over and over again.

I stayed with her all that night, remaining mostly awake, and Agnes and Don arrived early Monday morning to allow me to go to the hotel and sleep for several hours. When I arrived back at the hospital around 3pm on Monday, her condition was about the same, and remained that way until later that night.

All during this time, I had a peace about what was happening. For reasons I won't explain right now, I was very sure that Tricia was going to be OK...that she was simply allowing her mind to take a break because she had been through more than her conscious was willing to handle. I was certainly very scared and concerned for her, but deep inside, I knew that God was giving me comfort to know that she was safe.

All day Monday, they put Tricia though several physical/mental tests and scans, all of which came out negative. Around 10pm, Monday night, she began growing increasingly annoyed and even angry and upset. Around 11:45, she woke up from a short sleep very upset, and it took everything for her nurse and I to hold her down and keep her from hurting herself until other staff could come in and help.

They gave her some haldol, and within 15 minutes she was sleeping. She slept very well until about 7am Tuesday morning, and when she woke up, she seemed to be very lucid and communicative, although she was still a little anxious and confused. The past two days have been very good, and she has not had any issues and has grown increasingly comfortable and relaxed.

She tells me that she can remember some of the past few days, but a lot is very blurry. We're hoping that today they'll move her out of the ICU and back to her normal floor where she'll be much more comfortable.

I'm sharing this with you for two reasons:

1) We want you to know how much we've appreciated your thoughts and prayers, especially over the past few days when you weren't even sure what to think or pray for.

2) We want to document as much as possible so that other CF, Transplant and High Risk Pregnancy patients who come after us will have as much information as possible to work with (even though Tricia's experience is NOT the most common).

God continues to show His hand of protection over my two girls. Beyond a few hours on January 8, this past week has most certainly been the most difficult to get through, and I've relied more heavily on His promises and your prayers and encouragement.

Thank you!

Nate

130 comments:

Dawn said...

Thanks for sharing this with us! I'll keep praying for your girls and checking up on the blog (I check it multiple times a day when I can!)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your struggles of the past few days. It is refreshing to know that still in this storm you turned to God for comfort and knew he was in control. So happy Tricia is doing better and thanks for letting us all pray for her. May there be many days of peace ahead.

Pete, Alison and Charlie said...

What a difficult time for Tricia, and for you too Nate. We will be remembering you in prayer (and little Gwyneth too, of course) and trust that Tricia will be able to relax and be at peace, and that she will continue to improve. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

thank you for being so honest. it is an encouragement to others. we will keep praying for all of you. having had babies myself i know just the hormones alone after childbirth mess with your head, i can't imagine adding all that tricia has been through, i think all considered she is doing remarkably well. god is with her.

Candy said...

I pray that Tricia can find some peace. Like you said, she probably needed a break from all that's been going on and her mind just didn't know how to handle it all. Thank God that she is doing better and I pray that it continues. He will help her and protect her, keeping those demons at bay. We continue to pray for Tricia, Gwyneth and you, as well as all of the staff and family and friends who are helping you all through this rough time.

A stranger in Canada said...

So sorry to hear this...

I cannot imagine how hard these last few days have been for both of you... I'm glad you find comfort in God, and I'll keep praying that things improve for Trisha.

Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing such difficult things. It is a blessing to see how God is taking care of you and strengthening you. Assure Tricia that we will continue to pray!

Leah Courtney

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing that. how scary for all of you--but i'm glad you had peace through it all! praying!

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear the Tricia is doing better. Prayers continue for all of you. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to be dealing with all you have but I do know that God is faithful!

Take care and blessings to you.

Rowena

Anonymous said...

Nate, Tricia and Gwen,
I am lifting you all up in prayers. For peace that only He can give. Hold close to one another. I pray for sleep Lord that Nate and Tricia both are able to rest and be filled. Thank you Lord for your unending love and comfort for this family. Hold Gwen close Lord just as Tricia desires so much to do. Your Heavenly Hand surround them. Amen

The Young's said...

Baring anything physiolgical the syndrome ICU psychosis can and does effect even the healthiest of the sickest patients in the intensive care unit. I pray it passes quickly as Tricia's condition continues to improve.
I remain in prayer for your family.
As a mother and a nurse I was so happy to know Tricia was able to see and touch her miracle daughter. Praise God.
You remain an inspiration and mentor of faith. I thank you.
Ann

Anonymous said...

I am so thankful for your optimism and your candidness. What a testament to the awesome power of God?! Your storm is a rough one, yet you're finding peace in the Almighty...such an encouragement to us all. Thank you for sharing with all of us strangers, and know that we are constantly lifting you, Tricia, Gwyneth and the rest of your family up to the Lord.

Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you and your family. While I don't have cf I've been where Tricia is - in the ICU w/babies in the NICU. I too had "ICU psychosis" and it's very common, worse for the family than the patient. I was hospitalized for 9 months on one occasion - each lenghty stay in the ICU brought on this delerium. I'm fine now as are my preemies. Godspeed for a rapid recovery for all.

Rebecca said...

How scary this must have been for all of you!

Thank you for sharing this. Words like "delirium" and "psychosis" can carry such a stigma, especially among Christians. But psychosis/delirium happens, to lots of people, for lots of reasons. There's no reason for the stigma.

Depression and anxiety can carry the same type of stigma.

I'm not comparing my journey to Tricia's. But I have been suffered severe, fairly long-term anxiety, so I know how it feels for ME. It ain't fun. (I started having panic attacks when I was 8 or 9, but didn't know that's what they were or seek treatment until I was 26. By then I was also extremely depressed. I'm 32 now.)

I fear if I write too much more I may go into the territory of giving too much advice, even though that's not my intention.

Just know that we're praying for all of you. And I guarantee that what you're sharing will help more people than you can even imagine.

And if there's anything else I can do, as always, let me know.

Hugs to you all...

Rebecca

Lindsey said...

Continuing to lift you, your wife and your baby up before the Lord. CF runs in my family and so many people are misinformed about what you can or can't do with it as a part of your life. As you said, Tricia's case is different than most, but it is a blessing and encouragement to hear your story. I will share your story with my cousin who has lived years past what the doctors thought she would and is now blossoming into a young woman but definitely has a transplant in her future. And my husband and I are going through our own life changing illnesses (my husband is ill), we've personally experienced the kind of prayer cover you all are experiencing right now...it is what keeps you going, and we'll be continuing to pray for you! Thanks for letting Jesus shine through your faith, in your good days and in your bad. Also for sharing your story as an encouragement and, more importantly, a resource for those "watching" it unfold and those who will do so years from now!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this with all of us. I always pray for your girls, but I now know exactly what to pray for Tricia.

Stay strong and God Bless You!

Dianett

kathibella said...

Nathan...I don't know if you read an earlier post of mine....I have CF and had twins born at 26 weeks 4 years ago (Jan 7, 2004) I too had to be put on a ventilator and later trached. WHat Trisha is going through I totally went through. They called it ICU psycosis....and also Post Tramatic Stress....If you need to talk or any questions or just vent feel free to email me...kathibella@aol.com

I also had my double lung transplant May 29, 2006 and I am doing very well....my twins by the way who weighed 1-12 and 1-9 are now 4 and are doing great! You all are in God's care as I know you know. We are praying for you all....peace and God Bless..

Kathi Clapham
kathibella@aol.com

Gina Witcher / Runnermom4 said...

Thank you Tricia for being so transparent. I can't really put into words what I am feeling. Tears of happiness and brokenness for what you are going through. I know that allowing Nate to share this, is going to minister to someone in a way you or I may ever know or understand. It's so easy for Christians to think we have to have it all together all the time because if we don't it will make God look unable to handle our situation... It's easy to talk about physical struggles, but when it comes to chemical imbalances or just emotional breakdowns, everyone seems to shut up and never share how hard it is to walk down those roads for fear of what others might think or say... which is probably what they will do. You guys are so precious.

Anyway, thank you for sharing so that we can know better how to pray for you guys.

TruePraise said...

Praying for your continued comfort and peace....and for protection for your girls, spiritual, mental, emotional and physical.....

May God continue to use you all to make a difference in the lives of others dealing with these same types of issues, and may your story continually point to Him as their source of strength...

Kim
Raleigh, NC

Bo from Florida said...

Nate,
You are brave and kind to share this news. I am always praying for all three of you as well as the entire staff working at Duke.

I recommend some Meka therapy for you! Tricia and Gwyneth want a happy, well-rested Nate. Please take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing. Continuing to pray for Tricia, Gwyneth, you & other family.

Praying specifically that Tricia is able to leave ICU today.

Joanne in Atlanta

Jennifer said...

Thank you for your honesty in sharing how we can continue praying specifically for your family!

Jesse's girl said...

I'm sure the past week has been incredibly difficult for all of you. Nate, you must be emotionally drained, worrying about your precious daughter and your beautiful wife. I'm thankful that Tricia is beginning to feel better, and I will pray for continued peace, comfort, and rest for her. I'm also going to continue to lift you up to God, as I know you must also be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Thank you for sharing, and please give Tricia a big hug from all of us! :)

Shannon said...

I was drawn to your website, while browsing on someone else's. My husband donated a lung lobe to his childhood best friend 8 years ago and we feel a stong concern for all those who are afflicted with this disease. I work at a biomedical research facility, doing research on the immune system, so I also have the scientific interest for a cure. As a mother myself, I feel strongly for the three of you right now and will pray for you. As a Christian, I know that God has a plan for your family and trust in his love and protection. Part of the reason I fell in love with my husband, was that strong, loyal nature, that led him to go through such a risky operation for someone he loved. Sadly, his friend did not survive, as she got an infection a bit later-but the impact she had on all of our lives was astounding. Your Tricia is an amazing woman and I will keep checking back and praying for all of you.

Thia said...

Thank You Father, for being with this family and comforting them even through the shadows and valleys. I pray You hold them close to You and grant them Your peace and rest.

diaduit said...

Thank you for your open update. I had no idea things were so challenging, but I am so thankful that the Lord has shown His goodness and mercy once again! You and your family are continually in my prayers. May the Lord continue to grant you that peace that surpasses all understanding throughout this all.

Marie/NHC said...

Thank you Tricia and Nathan for being honest about what is happening. You have helped many people who are undergoing similar struggles by sharing your troubles.
I would like to play a game of scrabble with Tricia soon!

Lynn said...

A similar thing happened to me this past fall. My son spent ten days in the NICU. The anxiety and sleeplessness I experienced were beyond words. I had even started to hallucinate. Please know I am thinking of you all.

Lynn

Tracy said...

I am sure that much time in the hospital, and the many things that she has gone throught the past few weeks would be taxing on anyone. We will continue to lift Tricia up in prayer. Still praising the Lord for how well your little princess is doing also!!

Carol said...

We continue to pray, Nate...May our father in heaven richly bless you for your willingness to be so open and honest before the world. Your blog is the first thing we look at every morning and the last before we close down for the night...I pray God will allow you and Agnes to have a restful day and an even better night's sleep.
Carol and Les

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to thank you for your honesty. You have no idea how many lives have been changed by your sweet family. While I have not gone through many of the things your family is going through and while I know each individual situation is different, I have dealt with the babies in the NICU, and the post partum issues (for me it took the form of anxiety/OCD).

Having dealt with post partum, I know how hard it can be to come forth and talk about it. Yet, when I finally did, I was so suprised at how many people have dealt silently with this. So, thank you again, for being a voice, an honest voice about how even the strongest of Christians can go through something like this. Thank you for letting people know, both who are going through it and who have a loved one going through it, that it is not a lack of faith, it isn't a weakness, and that it can happen to anyone. It is not a punishment or a sign of a weak person, it just is.

I say those things b/c I know what went through my mind and I wondered what I had done wrong to "deserve" this. God is good and He works through many circumstances to show us His glory.

Tricia is a role model to woman on so many levels, as a woman of faith, as a NICU mom, and an ICU patient, as a mom with CF, and now as a mom who's been through a post partum issue!.

And Nate, you are a role model as well. You are a wonderful man of God, who has maintained his faith, through what could be considered difficult circumstances. Certainly joyful as well! I am marveled over and over by the awesomeness of GOD working in your lives!!!! And you have even managed to reach out to others during this time. So, thank you too!

Just thank you again, for sharing so honestly what you are all going through. Your story is beautiful and encouraging, and shows the light of Christ so strong it would be hard for even an atheist to deny!!!!

~Amy (praying in NY)

Anonymous said...

Wow, it's amazing how many people have chimed in about ICU psychosis....never heard of such a thing!

Hope Tricia doesn't "relapse", but only continues to get stronger. After all she's been through, I'm so sorry this happened too :(.

Laurie said...

Praying for Tricia to continue doing better. I can so understand the effects of all the medications and procedures that have gone on for some time now. Praying extra hard for her to have peace and be able to adjust and sleep. She has come through so much. Miracles can be exhausting and there have been many. Asking for her mind and heart to be safe in Jesus. I am praying for you too Nate, it must be so frightening for you to witness in your sweetie. Thank you for letting us know what we need to pray for specifically.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

Jodie said...

Thank you. We're praying.

Carol said...

Nathan,

Thanks for sharing and being so transparent with us. May God use this for His glory and the benefit or others who walk after you on this path.

My love and prayers.

Carol

Anonymous said...

ICU psychosis is definintely a recognized phenomenon. Googling returns a lot of hits about it, for anyone who would like more information.

Best of luck.

Randee said...

Nate, I have been reading your blog for a couple weeks and increasingly falling in love with your family. You and your girls are beautiful and there are no words to express my prayers for you so I will simply ask for peace in your hearts, your minds and your world. I know you know, but just a reminder, you have touched many lives and now you know you have touched mine as well.
Randee

Denise said...

You're in our prayers. I wanted to share some verses that have been especially helpful to me in tough times.

Hebrews 4:13-16
13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.
15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.
16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Amy said...

Your family is always in my thoughts and prayers. I am glad that your wife is beginning to feel better. How wonderful that you had peace about her the last few days... our God is so powerful.

Marla Taviano said...

Aw, Tricia, thanks for letting Nate share. I can't even fathom what all you've been through the past few weeks, months, years. When we are at our weakest, God is so, so strong. Don't try to be strong, girl. He's got you!

Bless your sweet, precious heart! Praying, praying!

Anonymous said...

Nathan, Tricia, and Gwyneth -
I am not very good at praying, but have been following your story and praying for several weeks now. I will continue to pray for strength, peace, and health for all three of you - you are all beautiful people and I am grateful a friend chose to alert me to your story. You have all three been through so much - I hope Tricia will be able to get some rest both for body and mind. Thanks also for sharing the many pictures.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing and being so transparent. We are continuing to pray for you three. I check the blog several times a day and continue to pray throughout.

Amy said...

Wow! What a stressful few days you have had. I will continue to pray that God floods Tricia with peace.

Praying for you today....

Jessica G said...

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm sure all that have been praying can agree that we did not know what we were praying for but we just knew it was needed very much. Prayers will continue that Tricia can get to her normal floor so she can be more comfortable and get some peaceful rest. Prayers will also continue for Gwyneth to begin eating so that she can grow and stay strong. I know you must be anxious to get her in your hands. For my husband and I both that was and still is one of the most special times in our lives...holding our beautiful baby girl for the first time. I can not imagine having to wait 3 weeks to do that but I know that the wait will be worth it. God bless you all and I pray for the next few days, weeks, and months to be smooth sailing!

Jen said...

Thank you for sharing. Prayers continually being sent for you all.

Douglas said...

Thank you so much for being willing to share both the joys and the sorrows of your journey with us. You are daily in our thoughts and prayers. Our God is so awesome and I am sure even through these difficult days, you see His hand at work. Tricia, you are the most amazing example of God's strength. We are glad that you are doing better and we will pray that they will move you out of ICU soon.
Love, Danielle Davis

Frazzled said...

Thank you for your willingness to be open with us. I've been praying for you all but am glad to have more "specifics" to lift up on your behalf.

melissa said...

Tricia has been through SOOOOOOOOOO much, that although this is sad to hear, it kinda "makes sense" as to all it could happen.
I'm definitely, defintely praying for Tricia in a new way now (having had much pain in my life and experiencing my own periods of mental "fuzziness/breakdown", I can relate to this in many ways).
Much love to all of you!

Emily said...

God is good... all the time. Praying for peace, rest, and uneventful days of progression for your ladies. ;)

Debbie in GA said...

What a blessing you are to other CF folks. Even during the most trying of times you still think of others. Not many would think to write all this down to share with others. God is truly the center of your all. I pray to Him everyday several times a day for him to continue to send healing and peace and growth for all three of you. God is there working his miracles through you his humble servents.

Anonymous said...

Nathan and Tricia-
thank you for sharing - I worried once that you felt in some way you owed anyone on this blog anything. You have already given so much and our prayers and concern do not give us any rights. But I believe you share what you can, when you can, for reasons that are important to you, and that you do what is right for all of you when you need to. I am learning better how to pray - God knows your needs and ours, whether or not we do.

Melissa P. said...

you dont know me, but i have been checking your blog several times a day and the lord has kept your family on my heart consistently. i had a high risk pregnancy and gave birth to a preemie two years ago...i experienced no where near the trauma that tricia has, but in a very small way i can relate to some of your story.
please know that the way you are loving both of your girls so well is an encouragement to many!!
i will continue to pray....

Ally said...

Keeping your family in my prayers.

(((Hugs)) to your family from mine in freezing cold Michigan.

littlemis said...

Your sharing here has renewed my faith in God and his love. I've never lost faith, just sometimes I'm not as aware or close to him as I would like to be. Thank you so much. My prayers and love go to you and your family.

Kelly said...

Obviously a very difficult stretch and I pray that it is all behind you both now. I only know how tired I was after having my kids, and they were not unusual deliveries. It was a very difficult time, so I can only imagine what Tricia's body and mind might be doing to try to compensate for it all. God is good and he has seen you through this far, and I believe He will continue to be there for your family. Prayers from Atlanta your way!

Momnnashville said...

Nate -- We went thru the exact same type of reaction with my mom this summer -- she was in a medically induced delirium - from a depletion of her sodium level. Her neurologist told us that this type of situation is harder on a family than any physical condition. Thankfully, my mom recovered and is back to her wonderful self again -- her body just got out of whack. I know the situations are quite different - but the end results I hope and pray will be identical. Hang in there and know your girls are in my prayers -- praying for comfort and peace and healing.

Happy_Housewife said...

Thanks for sharing your struggles with us. Your faith in God is unshakable and amazing. You are truly a role model. I am glad Tricia is doing better. I will continue to pray that her body, as well as her mind, continue to heal. May God bless you all.

Dee Dee said...

This must have been so hard for all of you. I am so sorry but so thankful that God seems to have brought her through the episode. Praying things go well and she is soon moved to the different room and making steady progress toward all the things she is waiting for, like holding Gwyneth.

Anonymous said...

WOW! What a frightening few days. I have been praying for the three of you and will continue to do so. Your honesty and willingness to share these moments with perfect strangers leave in awe. What a battle, but to the victor go the spoils! And I know the victory will go to the three of you! You have half of the world (literally) pulling for you in prayer! Keep the faith and keep loving one another!

Kris said...

Sending my daily prayers to you and your family.

Sherry Boyle said...

Thanks to you and Tricia for this courageous post. Your faith and trust in our Lord comes through loud and clear, and most certainly will lead others to Christ, or draw them closer if they are already believers. May God continue to bless you and your family.

♥PugPosse♥ said...

Oh Nathan, Thank you for sharing that very personal story with us. I have never heard of that before? It must be a scary thing to watch and feel. I am praying for Tricia ( and you) to find comfort during this difficult time. This must not of been a easy post for you to write. Thank you for all you have shared with us. I keep you in my daily thoughts and paryers.

Hugs

Anonymous said...

My prayers continue for Tricia, Gwenyth, you and your families. I appreciate your openess in all that is going on with Tricia so I can pray very specifically. Also, your words of what's going on with her, I believe will help other women who struggle in various ways after pregnancy. When my preemie stayed at the hospital and I was released, the stress was tremendous, particulately being separated from her. There are so many additional elements to your situation that make for even more stress, concern and complications. Praise God that you and your girls are resting securely in the hands of our Heavenly Father! Blessings - Lynne B.

Anonymous said...

Still praying for you. What she is going through would make anyone a little anxious to say the least. I'm praying for your family each day. Christ is near!
Katie Columbus,Oh

Michelle in MO said...

I agree with everyone else! Thank you for sharing! I really believe it's important to share things like this so when it happens to someone else they know it's not totally uncommon. I've had some issues after my last baby and have shared them with all my family and friends just so they know these things can happen.

God is with you and your family and you continue to be blessed! We pray that your blessings continue!

Anonymous said...

I wish I had half the amount of faith & belief that you have. Your are truly a child of God.
Your honesty rocks.
Your God rocks.
Thank you for sharing

Zac and Jenny said...

The human mind is an amazing organ. It's amazing the things it does (like shut down) to protect us.

I'm glad that you were able to be there with Tricia during those scary and emational times. Hopefully she'll continue to improve.

-Jenny

Shari said...

I am praying for your sweet girls and you Nathan. I had a very similar experience as Tricia after giving birth to my third son. I understand it. Our God is so sweet and good to us.

Prayerfully,

Shari
Oregon state

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing--we are praying here, and spreading your story so others will do so also. May God continue to give you His peace as you juggle all of this.

Bethann

Anonymous said...

Thanks, as always, for your willingness to share your personal story. Your strength and Tricia's and little Gwyneth's is amazingly strong. I'm so glad that you have gotten over this hurdle and will continue to pray that these bumps are few and far between. I so hope that Tricia gets moved out of ICU today!

Beth said...

Thanks for sharing with us. As I said in a previous post, my cousin is there, at Duke, recovering from her second double lung transplant. I remember that she had problems with that same thing after her first transplant. I don't know if she remembers it or not, but if you all want to get in touch with her, let me know. Meanwhile, I'll keep praying for you all.

Annie- Nashville said...

Thank you for your openness. Bless you for being such a Godly husband and Father to your 2 girls. Both of them need you very much right now. Our prayers are with you and look forward to sunny days ahead! Blessings to you all!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. I am a new reader, but I am incredibly inspired by the way that you are placing everything in God's hands. I am joining the many MANY others in prayer for comfort, peace and strength for you and your girls.

imasharp said...

Lord Please give Tricia and Nathan supernatural rest, peace and strength. Thank you for all you have done for them and what you are going to do. Please watch over Gwyneth and help her to thrive. I ask for a double portion of your annointing to fall in that room and give them needed security. Thank you Lord. Amen

Anonymous said...

Nate... how frightening these events must have been for you. How even more frightening they would have been without your unwavering faith in God.

May he continue to watch over your family. And may He continue to watch over you, as you are taking care of so many.

Gwyneth is beautiful. She will always know what a treasured and loved child she is.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your story since your daughter's birth. I am praying for your girls and yourself. Thank you for sharing and know that you are being lifted up in prayer.

The Lenda's said...

Thanks for once again opening your lives and your hearts up to us. We will continue to pray for you and Tricia and of course sweet Gwyneth. God is using you all in mighty and amazing ways through this adventure you're own. And I pray that He continues to protect you both as I am sure satan does not appreciate the body of believers from around the world uniting in prayer. Praying that He puts a hedge up around you as we continue to share in His modern day miracles through the unexpected mode of the internet. Praise God for all of the bad things that occur on the internet we have united and turned it into a place of God's people coming together and praying. Wherever two or more are gathered in His name here I am in the midst of them.

Dancing65Roses said...

Hi, I try not to comment, because I know it can be overwhelming, but I want to thank you for your honesty and encourage Tricia. My mom used to work as a Pulmonary ICU nurse and she said that psychosis occurs frequently when on a vent. Being on the vent is scary and traumatic in itself, and Tricia should improve!!!
We'll all be praying for her!
Love, Carla

justinjasonsmom said...

Glad to hear Tricia is doing better. Your faith in the Lord continues to amaze and inspire me.
I will continue praying for your girls.

Fran

Sarah said...

I'll be praying for Tricia to feel peace and be able to rest. Becoming a mother is emotional even when everything is perfect and you go home from the hospital in two days. I can only imagine what it's like when there are so many other things going on.

Jen said...

Always praying for you, Tricia, and little Gwyneth. May you all have a peace of mind. :)

Jennifer from Illinois

Jane-Jane said...

I'm always amazing how the body will react to stress and pain...

still praying in SC!

Marc and Charity said...

Your honesty is encouraging, thanks for keeping things real for us.

We are still praying for all that you have mentioned. Bless y'all!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for openning your lives once again to us. Tricia is such a strong woman, wife and mom, I know she will come through this stronger than she was before! Our prayers continue for your girls!

Soltana said...

You seem like such a strong person and I am glad I have gotten to "meet" you and your girls.
Thank you for being so honest with all of us.You Tricia and Gwyneth continue to be in my thoughts.

Love and well wishes...

Shane and Devin said...

Nate,

My family and I are continuing to pray. Thank you for the update, and for your honesty. Thank you for your example of constant faith and trust in the Lord....it is an encouragement to everyone who is watching/reading!

Devin in Illinois

shuggy said...

icu psychosis can be a scary thing to see happen to someone you love. just remember it will go away! once tricia get's out of the icu and to a regular room, she will start to be able to have a more normal routine and things will improve. i continue to be amazed by your family and how well you are dealing with so many things.

keep your chin up!

Anonymous said...

Dear Nathan and Tricia,
I went through a similar psychosis when I was in the ICU for a few days after the birth of my-soon-to-be-2-yo daughter. It was horrible! I was horrible! I am not usually a "bell ringer" when in the hospital, but I think I was "on the bell," most of the night...2nd night in ICU. I begged to be taken off of the Magnesium Sulfate IV as I felt like I was burning up on the inside...I believe God gave me a glimpse of what Hell will be like, and it was not pretty! I also complained about my sequential stockings, the inflatable leggings one wears when on bedrest to prevent blood clots...they felt like snakes wrapping around my legs, YIKES!! The nurses called the doc a couple of times and did eventually take me off the Mag, and took off my stockings! I was begging to go home, did not have anyone spend the night with me, so I felt so alone and was awake most of the night watching the clock, ringing out for the nurses, and crying out to God. It is here that I learned that God is good...ALL the time!
Hoping and praying that Tricia's days in the ICU are quickly coming to an end. Also praying for sweet peace and rest that only comes from the Father above.
You all are in my thoughts and prayers often throughout the day, and I share your situation and blog site with many of my friends and family.
May the God of all comfort bless and keep you!
In Him,
Beth in PA

Cooper & Lauren said...

We are continuing to pray for you here in Raleigh. Praying for many better days!!!
Wendy York

theycallmepuddin said...

Thank you for the heart felt update. My family and my co-worker has been keeping you guys in our prayers throughout the past weeks. God is AWESOME and I know you know that. Stay strong in our Heavenly Father.

Debra said...

Thank you for being so honest with us. It will help me when I pray for Tricia - and you. I'm glad that you had peace during all of this and trust that she will continue to heal and get better, also to get some decent sleep.
Debbi/Aspiemom

Mary said...

Wow. Well honestly that's not what I expected you to post about, but God has definitely answered prayer upon prayer for you and your girls. I will continue to lift you all up daily to our Father. May his grace supply all of your needs.

Mary

Brian and Rachel said...

We appreciate your transparency. We have been and never will stop lifting you and your amazing family in prayer. Blessings from Florida.

Anonymous said...

What an incredible husband you are to your beautiful wife, and what a wonderful father you are to your miracle baby. I'm praying for the Lord to bless you all with peace that passes all understanding, and for wisdom, joy, and hope too! God is doing a GREAT work in all of you -- keep pressing on in His name :).

walkingbyfaith said...

I really appreciate you and Tricia being willing to share this with us. I certainly understood, and now even better understand your need for a break. I pray that God delivers Tricia from this stress and allows her to regain her strength.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Love y'all.

Vicki said...

I will continue to keep all 3 of you in my prayers.

terri c said...

It is amazing how common this stress reaction is and yet how little talked about. I know you and Tricia have helped TONS of people with this post. Prayers continuing.

Anonymous said...

All three of you are so incredibly beautiful. Your ministry here is enriching the world. I pray for you all daily.

~ praying in Michigan said...

We continue to pray for Tricia, Gwyneth, and you too, Nate. May you continue to feel God's presence and comfort in the midst of everything that each of you is facing.

Erika and Matt said...

Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us. I am sure it was difficult to write about and to live it too! As an ICU RN I have seen a lot of ICU psychosis and it can leave as quickly as it appears when treated correctly. It sounds like you are all in wonderful hands and they are taking such great care of all of you. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Amber said...

Nate,
PRAYING for Tricia, and of course you and Gwen, as well. I'll continue to ask everyone else to be lifting you up in prayer, too! Thank you for your transparency before the Lord and for allowing us a small window into your journey!

Amber from Ohio

Julie said...

Thanks for sharing in such a vulnerable way, the struggles of the last week. It is evidence of God's incredible power and strength in carrying both Tricia and you through such a scary time. Continued prayers for your family...

Lisa from NC/C3 said...

Nate - Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I am in awe of your strength and your faith in Him. Keeping you in my prayers daily.

Lisa
Joshua 1:9

Corinne said...

We're still praying for you all...the three of you and the family/team caring for you. Your courageous vulnerability and choice to trust God throughout is encouraging, challenging and inspiring. We pray for you many times everyday. My little boy often asks how you are doing and we take a chance to pray together...your faith is inspiring his, thank-you for being part of his journey in knowing who God is.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that Tricia is having such a difficult time. She certainly has been through so much and has a lot to deal with! Praying that things continue to get better and that she is able to find comfort in spending time with her loved ones!

Melissa Dovel said...

im always hesitant on what to say or not to say on your comments (so i pray each time for wisdom)- Above all we pray for your needs and if its worth any value I had full term healthy babies and I sill had with all 3 very similar reactions. Not sure what that means maybe something to do with the c-sections or drugs they gave me. Some times it helps to hear a story so you dont feel so out of the normal. I am sure with all she has gone through it has made it more of an issue. When you read comments to your wife- tell her she is loved by complete strangers and that in her weakest moments she is strength to other christian mommies.

Blessings and sweet rain from above

Anonymous said...

If I had absolute power I would heal Tricia and Gweneth, and say you never have to go to a hospital again until you are all 90. I ask God for these things, just because I want you to not suffer anymore, ever.
It feels like enough to me.

I know God loves you so much though, I know he does, and that he has all power, and He can do anything.

I ask him to show us all, who love you without knowing you, to teach us something about love, and grace, and the call to suffer, and the lessons we learn in that crucible.

My part is to love you and suffer with you, in some way, and pray for you, so I do.

You are all very dear to me, in a way that only the body can understand. Lord please, I ask you to heal. Jehovah Rapha.

Kolby said...

Hi Nate, your wife and baby are in our prayers. My husband and I had a baby boy born January 9, 2008. We were at 26.2 weeks gestation and he was 1 pound 11.5 ounces. We are in the Denver Children's Hospital with our boy, Tage, now, riding the NICU rollercoaster as you guys are. I cannot imagine the added stress you are having with your wife being sick as well. I'm glad you know God and have him to rely on during this difficult time. My water actually broke when I was 16 weeks pregnant so Tage has a very severe case of lung disease and is strugging on his ventilator. We, too, are relying on God's healing hands. Your photos really hit home. Our boy is a furry blondy just like your Gwyneth and they have the same snuggly with hearts on it. We have a website as well with updates of Tage's progress and a few photos if you want to check it out. We'll be keeping you in our prayers and wish you and your family the best. our site is www.caringbridge.org/visit/tagedaniel

Wrench said...

What a stressful event -- I'm sorry y'all went through that, but praise God that you were able to lean on Him for comfort and for peace.

I wanted to share with you, that since reading your blog, I've prayed more and communed more with God than I have in a long time. You and your beautiful family have reminded me of everything I've missed by not praying and being a faithful servant of God. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to bless you all with prayer -- it's blessed me, as well!

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this to you previously, but ICU psychosis and psychosis in general can be brought on by a bladder infection (from the cathater). My father was in ICU last year for about 4 months fighting for his life from ARDS and he suffered ICU psychosis a few times during that time. The last time was caused by a bladder infection.

Kolby said...

I just posted a comment, not sure if it got lost, or if I am just being too impatient and it will show up in a few minutes...but Just in case, I thought I'd do another quicky. I too have a preemie in the NICU right now. We are at the Denver children's hospital but are originally from Montana. Our boy, Tage, was born January 9, 2008 at 26.2 weeks. He was one pound 11.5 ounces. He grew in the womb with no amniotic fluid from 16 weeks on so he has severe lung disease and is struggling to grow on a high frequency ventilator. We, too are relying on God's strength, comfort, and healing power to get through this NICU rollercoaster. We'll be sure to keep you and you family in our prayers as we cannot imagine the double stress of having your wife sick as well. We wish you the best. If ya have time you can check out our website at www.caringbridge.org/visit/tagedaniel The photos of your little blong girl are so similar to the ones of our little fuzzy blond boy. They even have the same heart snuggley. We sish you the best.

Anonymous said...

Changes in mentation can be more difficult than anything physical. Push HARD for Tricia's transfer to the floor. ICU's are notorious for fostering psychosis. God bless you all and continued prayers.

Anonymous said...

Thank You for sharing all of that with us. I am still sending out many many prays {{{{}}}}

Kristen said...

Thanks for sharing whats going on and being so honest about what you guys are going through, I am praying for you both and your little girl and know the Lord is going to use you both in mighty ways. May God bless you and your family and continue to give you peace as you face each day and the new experiences that it brings.

Emily said...

I will, of course, continue to pray for you!
This happened to me, too, and it is certainly no picnic. My heart goes out to all of you.

Anonymous said...

My family will continue to pray for yours! Our bodies are very fragile and with all Tricia has had to deal with it's probably good that she was able to 'get away' for awhile and get some much needed rest! Isn't is wonderful knowing that God is strong and in control! With His strength she will get through! Praying that you continue to trust in Him and find comfort in knowing He will supply you with all you need! Hang in there! Many are praying for you! Thankyou for sharing your story with so many! You are such an inspiration and witness to God!

Anonymous said...

Please tell Tricia that those of us CF blog addicts who visit so regularly are sincerely interested in her well being; I have fallen in love with you guys. You change my outlook and help understand the value of hope. I am a former ICU nurse, and I've seen this temporary lapse of control (that you have described with Tricia) happen before. It's easy to become disoriented after so much time in the same confined area. I am so glad to hear that she's in a regular room. I hope the baby girl is good today too!
Ft. Myers, FL

Patty said...

What a difficult time for Tricia, and you. I hope and will pray that she continues to improve and have better and better days.

Anonymous said...

I have been praying for you extra hard the past few days. I senced from your posts that there was some sort of storm brewing. Prayers for healing and peace (restful sleep) for all.

beth r. : )
waukesha, wi

One Happy Family! said...

Bless her heart!
Thank you for sharing with us. It is heartbreaking to hear of her struggle .You three are truly an inspiration to all.

Many prayers being said that Tricia can be moved to a new floor very soon and that her mind, body and spirit can get the much needed rest she so deserves. Man prayers being said for sweet Gwyneth too for continued health and growth.

Sarah

Anonymous said...

I find this post one of the most encouraging. I'll remain anon for this one, but I've experienced a slice of what Tricia went through and lately I've come ro realize that there are still people out there who still hold to the stigma associated with mental illness. While I doubt that Tricia will have to battle this again and she won't be labeled "mentally ill", thanks for putting that out there. People all over the world are gaining compassion for you and your family and most then pass that compassion on to others. They are also gaining understanding and they will gain an understanding for others. Once again, you have championed yet another cause...in a small way. Thanks.

Jennie said...

Oh, Nate, God is giving you and Tricia yet one more opportunity to teach.

Please don't be embarrassed about Tricia's psychological symptoms. Please explain to people that "mental illness" IS physical. There's really no difference. The basis is biochemical and the effect is both physical and behavioral, just like most typical physical ailments.

There's no reason to be any more embarrassed by psychological symptoms than any of Tricia's other symptoms.

Sorry to rant. My 18-year-old son has bipolar disorder and we've been telling this story for years. At age 10, he gave a talk about it at his school's health fair, along with kids who talked about their allergies and asthma.

I'm so sorry to hear that you and Tricia, and her family, had to deal with this frightening episode. You have all borne so much already. I hope the future brings all of you health, happineess, and peace.

Rick Lawrenson said...

I think, Jennie, that the fact he wrote and shared about it openly and frankly demonstrates that he is not embarrased by it and wants it to be a teaching opportunity.

Irene said...

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Irene O

Irene said...

Nathan, Now that I have figured out how to post on here I want to share that I have been following your stories recently with much interest. I live not too far from you in Elizabeth City, and I had a double lung tx in Virginia almost 8 years ago. I had some complications and therefore was in ICU myself for almost 2 months and also suffered with ICU psychosis and it is indeed very real. I too had dreams that my nurses (who were wonderful to me!) were trying to kill me and harm me. I was also lacking sleep and much stimulation outside of those 4 walls. It was so real that I was unable to distinguish my dreams from my waking thoughts, even though I was reinforced that I was fine and I was dreaming, probably from meds, etc. Please reassure her she will be fine. I am glad to see she is improving some, but I know it is hard to shake those thoughts when they seem so real. My prayers are with you all.
Irene Overton

Thodgson said...

You are wise beyond your years, and we thank you for your willingness to share such personal, emotional, stressful, joyous and spiritual moments to benefit others. Like another said you both are truly children of God and I am grateful to call you friend.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for sharing your hearts with us. I have been praying for all of you, and will continue. Your faith, and strength are a true inspiration to me. I have been praying that God would grant you an extra measure of strength over the last few days. There will be times in all of our lives that God will carry us through, that is the only way that we will make it. What a Mighty God we serve! He is ever faithful and true!
Hugs and Prayers,
Marge
Maryland

Anonymous said...

wow that is tough. I'm glad to hear she is better. how scary though!

you really should write a book you know...

Sandra said...

Nate, I have been reading your blog since the baby was born and I am praying for you all.

My cousin had very severe psychosis about 2 weeks after her son was born that sounds exactly like what Tricia has been going through. While her pregnancy was normal, other than being a bit stressed, and her health was good, this still happened. It took her a couple of weeks to fully get through it with lots of love and suport of her family. They never did realize what was causing it, other than to say the stress of her life, and hormonal changes.

I pray that Tricia will quickly get over this, and there will be peace from this time forward.

tripleblessings said...

Thanks for sharing this story. I experienced something similar after the birth of our triplets, when I had been very ill with complications. I had extreme insomnia, anxiety, post-partum depression and delusions I think, and I was quite irrational for several days, making a gradual return to "normal" stressed-out new mom. I was under a psychiatrist's care as well as a variety of medical specialists, in hospital for 2 weeks after the birth. When I was discharged I saw a counsellor weekly for the next 6 months, which was very helpful for coping with continued anxiety and PPD, and to deal with all the stress and changes with becoming a new parent to triplets. This is not something people talk about very much, but I believe it does happen to some new moms.
I'm sure this has been a very hard few days for you as well as Tricia, and I am so glad to hear that she is starting to feel better. If you can advocate for her, make sure she has access to counselling (of any type) if needed in the weeks ahead. I hope you both have those resources available if you want or need them.

I continue to pray for Tricia, Gwyneth, and for you Nate. With heartfelt best wishes,