Here's a great explanation from one of my blog readers/commenters of what a true Trust Fund is supposed to be. I hope that this info will especially help educate those who may be in need of their own financial support someday.
Sometimes you see where people in need (such as fire victims, etc.) have accounts set up to assist them in times of need. They are usually different than a true "trust fund".
A real "trust fund", (and I had one myself when I had my transplant to help with expenses), is put together by a lawyer and it is governed by laws, especially tax laws. I too had to have a Trustee that wrote the checks and decided, according to the rules, what was and what was not a medical expense.
This may seem really strict, but when you have the expenses from a transplant or other major medical event it can truly be a safeguard and lifesaver. Medication expenses from a transplant are huge, but necessary to sustain your life. The fact that you can not use the money for the electric bill or the car payment may seem unfair in some ways, but on the other hand, it makes sure that, if times get tight financially for the person in need, they will have money for their medication and other medical needs. I know of some transplant recipients who when times get tight, will skip some does of anti-rejection medication, and that can and has cost people their life.
The trust fund for many people assures you that even though you may not be able to make your car payment one month, you will still be able to get your much needed medication. Nathan is so true when he mentioned the high costs of the medication. Some months, even with good insurance, my medication co=pays are as much as a house payment.
67 comments:
Thanks for clearing things up. Not that you owe anyone an explanation, but as always you are just to kind! :)
Hey, I was first!!!
Nate,
Please know there are people who don't feel you have to explain/defend every little detail or decision. We are blessed you have let us into your world to be a part of praying, hoping, dreaming and rejoicing with you. Know we trust you and Tricia to do what is right before God for your family. What the particulars are...none of our business unless you choose to share.
Having amdin'd for many a message board, I have learned (the hard way) that some will make assumptions, some will take things the wrong way (or personally), and some will believe what they will ... all no matter what you say. I understand your want to clarify things - but please remember that you don't owe any of us anything. We should be grateful that you are sharing your journey with us and trust that you will always do what is best for your family.
God bless.
I fully agree with "kim" and "polkadot". You do not owe us any explanation, we are just glad you are allowing us to join you in your journey!
Best of luck to you with your house-hunting. Your needs make all the sense in the world, especially the hardwood floors. I ripped out my carpet four years ago and I'm still celebrating the cleanliness. If, by chance, you find something perfect with carpet, I highly recommend bamboo flooring. Unfortunately, I didn't know about it when I chose my flooring, but my neighbors did and it's absolutely wonderful!
That was a great explanation of how trust funds work! It seems I learn something new each time I read your blog! Not that you needed to explain anything to us!
If you ever do change your mind about raising money toward a "house fund" for you and Tricia, we would love to contribute! We are far from rich, and have to work hard to provide for our family, but we would defintely give what we could toward making your goal of living in a healthy home a reality. Please let us know!!
Nate and Tricia,
I have only left one post on here before but I have checked your blog daily. I usually come on to pray of which I do for you and your family daily.
The decisions that you have had to make no one understands them but your immediate family and our LORD above.
It is a joy and pleasure that you have let us into your private lives. I pray for God to continue to guide and direct you in all you do.
Have a blessed night.
Nate and Tricia,
I have only left one post on here before but I have checked your blog daily. I usually come on to pray of which I do for you and your family daily.
The decisions that you have had to make no one understands them but your immediate family and our LORD above.
It is a joy and pleasure that you have let us into your private lives. I pray for God to continue to guide and direct you in all you do.
Have a blessed night.
i am so sorry that people misunderstand or assume many things. i really appreciate the details you share because i believe it helps me pray more specifically. Now i know that God knows all your needs but i think you know what i am trying to say. Praying for your house hunt! :) i hope you will continue to share on the blog. blessings, jen in al
I really don't know what people do when they don't have insurance. Like Irene and Nate said.. they just go without, which can cost them their lives. It really is very sad!
My normal 90 day supply of medication would cost me close to $14,000 if I didn't have insurance. (I just looked at my last bill from Medco to verify that). That's not counting any "extra" medication that I occasionally have to take, or any IV's that I may be on for a month at a time.
Nate and Tricia, I am so glad that you have been blessed with good insurance, and a trust fund to help with medical expenses.. and most of all a loving and supportive family and church family. Praise God for all of that!!!
Good luck on the house hunting! When we moved to Michigan, we did the same thing as you guys are--living with my parents. We were able to take our time a bit more than we would have otherwise.
Don't forget to have fun in the process--you'll be amazed at what you see. We had so many funny stories to tell when we came back from looking at houses :)
We also were able to move out before we got sick of each other, and amazingly enough, my parents weren't ready for us to go. (This is the same mother who back in high school told me me that if I were ever homeless, she'd buy a new refridgerator and give me the box!)
I'm continuing to pray for all of you. Thanks for letting us tag along on your journey!
Trust funds serve a great purpose. If myself or my son were stricken with medical hardship, I'd certainly want one. People just don't understand. You're kind to provide the free education:)
Best of luck to you with your house-hunting. We are house-hunting to:)
how unfortunate that it was even necessary to post a clarification... All the best and happy house-hunting! Thank you, too for being so transparent and baring your soul and journey. Your photos are priceless!
Very well said. Thank you for posting that Nate.
I agree that you two don't owe anybody an explanation, but I appreciate the information. I honestly had no idea that a medical trust fund could be established this way, and now that I do I will be taking the steps to create one for my son.
Tricia and Nate, you have so much insight and maturity for 20 somethings! Your comprehension of life, illness, death and reality is way beyond what many of us even think of when we are older than 20 something!
Take Care, and I am glad you will always have the financial support to cover your meds et al.
Thinking happy thoughts for you guys as you continue on the next few miles of your journey!
Karen et al
Vancouver, BC
Canada
I'll be praying as you look toward your future and future needs. Thanks for your example of trusting God & wanting to continue to rely on him for all of your needs.
I will continue to pray for you, for Trish, and for Gwyneth. I will also pray for forgiveness for being human, unaware and ignorant about too many things, for being enthusiastic about helping fellow humans in the wrong ways, and frustrating people in the process.
Well said. I hope you guys can find a house that isn't too expensive! I know the market on the OBX is crazy, as it is on all the NC beach areas. (my grandmother has a house in Long Beach) The shadow picture is awesome. I have tried to take a clue from you and stop "staging" my kids for photos and simply click away. The results have been great so far.
Thanks for sharing that - although even if you (were able to and) needed to use money someone donated to Tricia's fund to pay a bill or buy food, I'm sure whoever had donated would be okay with that. Now, if you were taking luxurious vacations with the money....what I'm trying to say is that I imagine the good majority of your readers and others who have donated are confident that you wouldn't use that money for anything other than what you need it for. I think (and of course, I'm really only speaking for myself here, I just hope that many others feel the same way I do) that we're all just happy that Tricia & Gwyneth are doing so well and would love to help any way we can!
But thanks again for posting that, just to clear up any doubts or misconceptions people might have.
I've never posted a comment here before, but I wanted to let you know that I have been following your family's story since before Trish gave birth. Your blog and your story continue to be a blessing to me and my family. The Lord bless you and keep you all...
Please don't get disgusted when stupid people don't understand or well meaning people put on their stupid hat and ask stupid questions.
I have grown so much from your blog.
I have made the full decision to be an organ donor BECAUSE of this blog.
I have sat and went through posts from THIS BLOG with my children to explain why I want to be an organ donor....which prompted two of my grown children to also make that choice.
I have gained courage that god still answers prayer by reading YOUR words....even your words of despair...
Forgive us in our stupidity and forgive the way the blogging is set up and anyone ... even neanderthals, may read it and comment.
But don't quit putting yourself out there.
Don't make me come over there... I mean it.
Hi Nate,
That's a good explanation of the trust fund, but I wanted to second the sentiment that you don't need to feel that all of us are challenging you on the details. Be reassured that plenty of us think you are a man of genuine integrity and trust that the decisions you make are based on careful deliberation and wisdom. I'd hate to see you change your blog content or become discouraged by this blog because of a few readers who apparently make mistaken assumptions. You and your family have come through so much and this blog has been such an amazing vehicle to impact others that I'd be so so upset if this turned into a negative experience for you. My primarily spiritual gift is encouragement, and that's all I intend to do on this forum. :-)
I think a house sounds like just what you all need, and my husband and I will jump on board with our prayers!
love, love, love,
Sarah T
Your blog is one of the very first that I check every morning when I sit down to read my daily blog list. I'm sorry that people are assuming things and commenting on their assumptions. There are some readers here who take your words at face value and understand what your saying without you having to clarify in a later post. I wish everyone got it the first time around. Wonderful post and it sure explained how a trust fund works to a tee!
I dont understand.... I thought that you said that Social security covers the baby and Trish's expenses medically. Wouldnt they always cover Trish because of her transplants?
Funny, I'm always having to tell my 9 year old this...MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS...I can hardly take care of my own business without trying to tell you what to do with your business. ;) (said with a smile - but there is an element of truth here)
Good luck with the home-hunt. I'm praying you find just what you all need for just what you all can afford to spend.
Thats a great explanation of a medical trust fund; brava to the 1 that wrote it in clear and concise language - that legal stuff can cause bad headaches!
I suffer from a debilitating illness, and know of which I speak. Medication costs will continue to skyrocket, and it's best to have as much protection on that front as possible!! Mine have gone from 100/month to over 400/month in the last 5 years and I take the same medications!! aye carumba!!
Also, brava to you and Tricia for having made the decision to get a house organized on your own. Everyone's offers of donations are such a beautiful thing, but (speaking as a much older person than you here) you will be so PROUD of yourselves when you move into your place and know YOU did it. A sense of pride and accomplishment that just cannot be matched. You 2 are doing it so much earlier than I ever was able to get myself organized for too!! You're at least 50 steps ahead of the game!
House hunting is fun - well except for all the slogging around looking at a bazillion houses LOL - I guess I should rephrase - house dreaming is fabulously fun :o) Enjoy your journey! I love my endless money pit, and I know you will love yours too!
Great explanation. I am so glad you guys are blessed with that trust fund. I never knew exactly how it all worked, so I learned something new today.
I agree with what others have said, you don't owe anyone an explanation for your thoughts. It is too bad that all some people have to do is assume,complain about and criticize what others are doing. For being so young, you and Tricia sure have your heads together. Everyone can sure learn alot from you guys. I want to thank you for sharing your story with everyone, I have sure learned alot and also learned to take one day at a time, love your family unconditionally and have also become an organ donor.
God Bless you and your family.
Elaine from MT
The poster who so perfectly described what a trust fund is was right on. There are times when my transplant meds and co-pays exceed my car payment, or even mortgage payment. Our health care system is totally falling apart. It's even tougher when you make too much to qualify for any sort of aid, but not enough to be able to pay all the bills and contribute to a savings account. I count my blessings each day for the lungs I was given 7 years ago, but the costs are outrageous.
As most of the rest of the comments have said you don't owe us an explanation about what you write. However, lately it feels as if we are all being scolded when you receive comments that are hurtful.
This is great info for those of us who have not had to deal with anything like a trust furnd. Thanks for educating us a bit.
I see that you are a pastor, and I can tell you are getting some very good experience at something most pastors deal with all the time. No matter what you say or how you say it, someone will choose to be offended. Thanks for continuing to share your heart in spite of that. Many more are blessed and encouraged by your family.
Nate,
If you are having such a hard time with comments from the bloggers maybe it is best to just write the bare minimum of what you need to tell us to keep us informed... to keep us knowing what your familys' needs are and how we can pray... and just ignore the comments. There seem to be some ignorant people who might ask needless and redundant or unknowing Q's or hurtful people with nasty comments... but most of us readers just want to know how your family is doing... not what every one else is commenting. Just a thought.
I continue to pray!!!
Nate, you don't owe anyone an explanation about anything on this blog. You answer to your God, and probably to your wife (haha) but you do not owe a single person reading this ANY information about a trust fund, your finances, your views on adoption, how you advocate your wife and/or daughter's wellbeing...NOTHING! You share with us what you want, and we as readers have no right to judge, question or criticize anything you write here. If someone doesn't agree they can just walk on by!!!!
Unfortunately, by opening your life up to the world via the internet as you have, you are not going to please everyone, and in return you are going feel as though your privacy is being invaded at times. You can either quit the blog (which would personally break my heart!) or just try to let it roll off your back, and don't feel like you have to constantly explain yourself. Those of us who are truly here to support you, and to witness the joys in your life, will never ask more of you than what you are already giving.
I am not sure how I found your blog but I am so very glad I did.
Just a note to say you have yet another internet stranger praying for you all!
AND I must, must say that your Gwyneth Rose is just breathtaking...so perfectly beautiful.
I have to add though, my husband would thank ya kindly to somehow block me from seeing anymore of her baby pictures as it makes my baby fever literally sky rocket to points of real medical crisis ;)!
Prayers for all of you!
May God bless you and your family today!
Very informative, thanks.
Just a thought...have you ever considered starting a home business and using your blog to market? There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing that. People would either be interested in what you were selling or not. This would be a great way for people to offer their support to your family. You might feel like you were taking advantage of people but you shouldn't. People shouldn't buy what they don't want--it's that simple. I have a friend who does really REALLY well selling Mary Kay and she gets to say home with her twins. I don't have a clue as to what you might get in to but I'm sure there's bound to be something you would enjoy. Avon? MaryKay? Pampered Chef? You could even donate a percentage of your earnings to CFF. Best wishes to you and your family:)
Hiya Nate,
This comment has nothing at all to do with your latest post but I just wanted to say thank you for visiting my blog and thanking me.
I'm soooo very happy that things are going well for you Tricia and wee Gwyneth and want you to know that your testimony and your willingness to be so honest in public is one of the things that helped me to share my story. I'm going to be baptised in June and will be sharing my story in public for the first time, I'm nervous about it but its such a great testimony it just has to be shared.......like yours.
Sending you all much love, take care and THANK YOU.
Sue
xxx
P.S.
I have two blogs, one is a day to day and the other is God/Chris, which there's a link to called 'my other blog' it might throw a bit more light on my testimony.
Apologies for using your blog to share this Nate but I'm still learning where God wants to use me.
We are vacationing in the Outer Banks this week and it makes me think of your family! And I'm starting to understand why it would be hard to find a house without stilts.... :)
hope you guys will be back here soon!
Since you guys are so close and are first time home buyers you should really check out this company. http://www.trademark-properties.com/residential/myfirsthome.html They have a seminar specifically for 1st timers and the man who owns the company, Richard Davis is a great guy! My husband is a real estate broker here in Texas and if we were going to move there that is who we would use simply for their reputation and dedication to their clients! No I was not paid by them for this advertisement, just wanted to help since I know how hard home buying can be! ;) Good luck!
There's not been anything new for days now, praying that you are having a quiet family weekend.
hope everything is ok!
I honestly learn something...every time I click on this blessed blog. Somethings I will never, ever forget, and others are good to know, just in case. Thanks -
Elizabeth
Wow, I stumbled upon your blog somehow and I have spent hours sitting here watching and reading about your life. Your family is absolutely beautiful and I am amazed at your strength and trust in God. Is there any way that people can send you donations or gift cards? Please let me know!
I feel like you are starting to let people get to you. Please don't.
Here's hoping you have had an amazing weekend at "home" with your family and your church.
A "normal" weekend, Amen!
So here's a strange request ...
When you get home to OBX, will you send me some apple uglies if I send you some money?
; )
Polka Dot,
You can send me the money and I'll pick up the apple uglies.
But it will cost you. Apple uglies are made at the Orange Blossom in Buxton, which is 60 miles south of us. That's 120 miles round trip. At 48.5 cents per mile, that's $58.20 in addition to the cost of the uglies you want. And I don't go down there without hazard pay for crossing the Bonner Bridge. That's another $1000. (With that I'll buy extra life insurance.)
And then you'll have to pay for a guarantee that they won't be eaten before I can ship them: another $100. And I'll probably have to eat lunch there, so tack on an additional $10.
But I'll be glad to oblige you.
just checking in and hoping that you are on your way or already home. Prayers continue that God's plan will continue to show itself to you and you find the house that is meant for your family.
Cindy
got my license renewed and made the donor decision! God bless you guys as you enjoy the amazing adventure He has you on!! thanks for sharing with us all!!
Hello from the west coast!
just checking in (again,lost count) to see if all is well. think often of the three of you and love sharing your story as a testimony to Gods grace.
This is really weird not getting regular updates.. i know i am spoiled..forgive me, hey wait a minute are we being weaned?!!!
:))
xo j
I am getting worried. I am used to your taking a few days off now and then, but you give us warning of a need to regroup. I know you are just busy, and isn't that a wonderful thing! Must be the Nana in me coming to the fore. God's Peace to you and yours.
Hope all is well, know I was thinking of you! Hope you are busy enjoying your beautiful baby!
I hope you and your beautiful girls are doing well! For all those who haven't noticed, TRICIA updated her blog! :) Check, check, check it out!
Long time no post. I hope this means you are busy getting ready to go home.
Long time no post. I hope this means you are busy getting ready to go home.
Thank you, Nate. We are trying to start a trust fund for our disabled son (3 1/2 years old now). We are just in the beginning stages and are trying to also figure out fundraising stuff to go along with it. Your posts always educate me and I am grateful. Wishing you and your girls the best, always!
Hi, I just wanted to say I have been reading your blog for several months now and I am truly amazed and inspired by your family. Something interesting---my husband was talking to his co-worker about your blog (the co-worker's son has CF) and come to find out they read this blog and, from what I understand, have made contact with you before. Anyway, we are participating in the CF walk this coming Saturday not only to show our support for them, but for you as well. Many blessings from our family to yours! :)
Just praying for each of you.
I sure hope your absence here means you are getting ready to head home or maybe already there. I am so blessed to know you are a family of three, tasting life and finding it oh so good.
A quick comment on the Trust Fund thing. It is simple for me, if the Lord puts it on my heart to give, I give and let it go. It is not my business where it goes once it leaves me. I am just blessed to be able to give. Having to know how it is used steals the blessing out of giving. Praying for the perfect home for you three. It is out there, He will lead you to it.
I love you guys and your miracles bless my heart to overflowing. God is so Excellent.
Love, Laurie in Ca.
Please come back!!:)
We miss you! I hope you all are ok.
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