Tuesdays are good for Recycling! This was originally posted on 1.11.08, just 3 days after Gwyneth arrived, while Tricia was still in her medically induced coma.
If you have a few hours to kill and want to be encouraged, Google "Tricia Cystic Fibrosis", "cfhusband" or "Confessions of a CF Husband".
I've read as many of them as I can find, and have posted "Thank you!" on every single one (except for those that don't allow me to).
As I've read each comment on those other blogs, I've come across a few that have mentioned how "sad" our story is. I couldn't disagree more.
Sad is the furthest emotion from my heart these past few days and weeks. I have never experienced so much joy packed into such a short period of time in my entire life.
Frustration? You bet!
But, no sadness here.
I've seen members of my own family return to God, heard from couples who have considered their marriage more deeply, read of mothers who have hugged their kids more tightly, seen Duke staff by Tricia's bedside in prayer, witnessed the increased faith in a real and tangible God of so many strangers and friends, and been told of people coming to know my God for the very first time...all because He has chosen to use Tricia, and now Gwyneth in an eternal way.
This is a story of Hope in the future, Joy for the present and Blessings for the past. It is a story of a God Who takes a left turn just as you are moving right, Who shows you the mountain top while others see the valley, Who never leaves nor forsakes you, and Who is bringing you to a destination that is unfathomably beyond anything you could have desired for yourself.
The past few days have led me to the most foreign places (physically, emotionally and spiritually) I have ever experienced. And yet, every single moment, I have felt a peace and sense of purpose like I did not know existed. It is something that I absolutely cannot understand or explain. Although I have recently asked God for many things He has not yet given me, I would not trade a moment of this past week for anything in the world.
My bride is living and, I believe, on her way to a successful double lung transplant and many years of watching our baby grow with me. I have a miracle daughter who is seriously challenging her mother for the top love in my life. Our families have shown me pieces of their hearts that I have never seen before. Strangers have become eternal friends, old friends have become new again, good friends have become great friends, and the best friends have become like family.
The only sadness to this story is that you might be reading this right now without relationally knowing my God like I do. But, that can change in an instant if you want it to by simply expressing to God with your heart that you believe in Who He really is and desire to know Him now and forever.
If you could only see the way Tricia smiled today when she heard my voice and feel my heart jump into my throat like it did that first day we met over 7 years ago or see the tears that flood my eyes whenever I touch Gwyneth, you would believe and know that there is no room for sadness in my life right now.
Our story could change at any moment, with an outcome that I may not be able to deal with on my own. But, my God will never change, and neither will my memories of this past week.